I'll Always Love You
by Braveandthebold
Summary: AU. Bucky Barnes is an awkward, anti-social war veteran. He spends his time watching TV or drinking over-priced coffee. The only people he really talks to is Sam, Natasha, her boyfriend Clint (by default), and sometimes Tony. Oh and Steve Rogers. Did he mention Steve Rogers? Casual touching & cursing, along with one-shots set at different points in their relationship.
1. I'll Always Love You

Of course this had to happen. Of course out of all days, he had to choose mother of God_ TODAY _to take the subway. Jesus Christ.

Bucky ran his prosthetic through his scraggly hair, then rubbed his face and sighed. And OF COURSE he chose to heed the wise words of the great Tony Stark himself.

_You need to get out more, _he said._ Stop wasting your time on that goddamned couch, _he said._ Go for a walk, _he said.

Okay, so maybe Tony and just about everyone in his life (and by everyone he means Sam and Natasha) were right. Maybe he did spend too much time moping around watching re-runs of Clean House all day. Maybe he did need to get out, breath the fresh air, actually interact with people. So that's what he decided to do. He walked out of his apartment on a bright Saturday morning, early enough so there wouldn't be too many people to cause him anxiety but just enough to actually force him to say some pleasantries, be polite, and then be on his jolly good way.

And what better way to see people than to take the subway?

Wrong. Oh how wrong he was.

For one thing he didn't have a metro card, so he had to go to the front desk and actually acquire one. Then he had to go to one of those ATM-but-not-really-ATM machines and buy a ticket. It shouldn't have been that hard right? Press a few buttons, put in a couple dollars, that was it. Except he didn't know how to fucking work the damn machine.

Guess this is what happens when you spend a whole three years in the goddamn army.

There were way too many options! And at one point he had accidentally pressed the 'Spanish' option. The machine also wouldn't take his dollar bills, AND the touch screen wouldn't work with his prosthetic. Bucky could practically feel the line of people glaring daggers at his back and the impatient tapping of their feet.

He ran his hand through his hair again and tried to calm down. He could do this, just calm down Barnes. Relax.

"Hey man! You're holding up the line! Move it along would ya?!" One of the people in line yelled.

The people behind him grumbled impatiently in response.

Bucky was starting to get antsy now. _Come on Barnes, let's try not to have a mental breakdown in a subway station shall we? _

"I-I'm sorry, I—" He stuttered out, but then clamped his mouth shut. His breathing was growing shallow, and his heart was beating even faster now.

"What's taking so long?!"

"I really need to get going."

I'm gonna be _so _late for my appointment."

"Come on man! Hurry it up!"

Bucky felt sweat stains growing under his shirt. He turned around to face the horde of angry pedestrians.

"I-I really am sorry, here, lemme just—" He moved to get out of the way. His head was spinning. If he didn't get out of there fast, he was sure he was going to lash out and be taken away by security. And that was the last thing he wanted.

A warm hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph he almost jumped a mile of out of his skin.

"Here, lemme help you," a kind voice said. Bucky looked up to find the kind voice matching a pair of stark blue eyes, blonde hair, and very _very_ nice muscles.

"Uh," Bucky couldn't help but gawk at the guy's face. The guy was, for lack of a better word, _HOT_. Their faces were only a few centimeters apart, and he could really see how blue his eyes were. Bucky suddenly grew conscious of the close proximity they were in.

Hot Blonde Guy smiled. "Where to?"

"Oh, um," Bucky blushed and returned his gaze to the map now displayed on the screen. At least he had calmed down enough to be able to focus again. "I guess, uh, here?" He randomly pointed to the first dot he saw. 'Highland Park' it read.

Hot Blonde Guy's expression brightened (if they were out in broad daylight Bucky would probably go blind by now). "Oh! I'm actually heading near the area myself. How about I just pay for both our tickets then?" He started inserting his money into the slot.

It took pretty much all of Bucky's effort to draw him out of his daydreaming before he realized what Hot Blonde Guy had said. "Er, wait—"But before he could protest further, two tickets came out.

He leaned in closer to Bucky. "We should probably go before we annoy more people," he whispered, the heat of his voice radiating in Bucky's ear. Bucky felt his ears grow hot and he quickly ducked his head, following Hot Blonde Guy through the turnstiles and out onto the platform.

He could feel the wind from the subways rushing by him. Thankfully, the dizziness and anxiety was already starting to fade away. It would almost be relaxing if it wasn't for the really hot musclely guy standing right next to him. Oh and the people.

"I'm sorry," he spoke out. Bucky was granted with a sheepish look and a light blush from the guy's face. "I didn't mean to intrude, but you looked like you were about to panic any second and well…"

Bucky raised his eyebrow, probing him to continue.

"I-I know the feeling. So." He rubbed his neck and looked everywhere but at Bucky. He was obviously trying not to look at him. Bucky couldn't help but laugh at this.

"Hey, don't laugh, I was really trying to be a gentleman just now." But Hot Blonde Guy was clearly smiling.

After recovering from the laughter Bucky found the guy staring at him expectantly. Now would probably be a good time to use those pleasantries.

He stuck his hand out. "Um, James Buchanan Barnes, nice to meet ya. B-but you can just call me Bucky. At least uh, that's what everyone else calls me. I think."

Hot Blonde Guy smirked. "So _you think_ people call you Bucky?" Bucky blinked, trying to process what he said before blushing furiously. He ducked his head, focusing all of his attention on the floor.

"And um.. thanks," he added awkwardly to the ground. Okay, they were right. He really did need to go out more often.

The guy looked down at his extended hand. Bucky followed his gaze and noticed that he had stuck out his prosthetic, not his right hand. Crap. So much for not weirding him out. But Hot Blonde Guy just grasped his prosthetic and acted as if nothing was wrong.

"Steven Grant Rogers, but you can just call me Steve," Hot Blonde— no, Steve, grinned back. "And you're welcome, any time." They both smiled at each other, hands still clasped.

_Train F is now arriving. Please step behind the line as the subway approaches. Thank you._

The two men jumped apart at the sudden announcement. Bucky felt his face heat up and settled for staring at the very interesting murals on the wall.

He heard Steve clear his throat and laugh nervously. "Er, well, we should probably get going now." He gestured to the doors. "After you?"

* * *

"So? And what happened after that?" Natasha inquired, stealing a sip from Clint's beer. He slapped her hands away and took the bottle back.

"Mine," Clint said in a childish voice. Natasha stuck out her tongue and proceeded to plaster a very wet kiss onto his cheek.

"Naaaaat."

Bucky rolled his eyes and took a sip from his own beer. "Jeez, get a room you two."

They were all in Nat and Clint's living room, with Bucky recounting his disastrous attempt to take the subway. Nat and Clint were huddled up on their couch, while Bucky was lying on the floor.

Nat and Clint had been together for almost three years already. They had met in college, and they really couldn't keep their hands off each other. Not to mention they were partners in crime when it came to teasing Bucky relentlessly. Talk about the perfect couple right there.

Clint was a pretty okay guy, and Bucky didn't really seem to mind him. If Nat liked him, then Bucky liked him too. Nat's judgment was usually right anyways. Plus, Clint was a great drinking buddy whenever Nat was out of town working on some secret CIA mission.

"Maybe you should get a room with Subway Guy," Natasha said under her breath, but loud enough for both of them to hear. Clint high-fived her.

"Thanks guys, real mature," Bucky muttered. See, perfect couple.

Nat was clearly excited by this sudden new development in his life, but she acted like he was going to marry Subway Guy—no, STEVE, and have, like, twenty of his hot blonde babies. Not that he wouldn't mind of course.

"Come on Romeo, tell us what happened," Clint implored. Bucky gave him a withering look.

"I told you guys, all we did was ride the subway to Highland Park and then we… went our separate ways. Period. End of story." Which was true, at least for the most part. They may have talked the whole way there. And possibly exchanged numbers. Possibly, of course. But the other half was still true. After they left the station Steve had to hightail it out of there because he was late for a meeting with his friend, leaving Bucky to fend for himself in the crowd of people. It was a miracle he was even able to make it back home in one piece. He promised himself never to take the subway again without at least some back-up.

"What, that's it?" Natasha asked disappointedly.

"I told you, it wasn't THAT interesting." He swirled his bottle before taking another sip.

"You didn't even get his _number_?"

Bucky had to remind himself not to blush and play it cool.

"Uh, no, not exactly." Okay, that didn't sound very convincing, but luckily Nat didn't poke any further. She may be nosy about his life, but she knew her limits. She would probably bring it up again later without Clint around.

"Sucks that you didn't get Subway Guy's number though," Clint said. Were they really going to call him that now? He had a name for god sakes.

"More like you can't suck his—"

Bucky almost threw his beer bottle.

* * *

Bucky yawned, his eyes staring blearily at the TV screen.

He had already watched an entire season of America's Next Top Model in the last half hour maybe? He was now starting How I Met Your Mother and he was already growing bored. Watching hours of TV shows was pretty exhausting after all.

Bucky rolled over and stretched when he felt something vibrate against him. He peeled back the blankets to find his phone tucked into one of the cushions. It was a pretty standard flip phone, but Tony had given him enough lectures about 'the future of today' and a bunch of other crap he didn't really care about. He didn't need some fancy new smart phone, especially because he would most likely break the screen with his prosthetic. He just needed something to call and text people, that's all. Tony had also referred to him as a grandpa and, he quotes, "A disgrace to the human race _and why isn't there any whipped cream left in your fridge?!_"

He flipped his phone open to find a text from Sam.

12:59 pm

From: Sam

To: Bucky

hey man. starbucks. now?

1:01 pm

From: Bucky

To: Sam

gimme 5

Bucky groaned lazily as he pulled himself up from the couch. He grabbed the nearest sweatshirt he could find, slipped a glove over his left hand, and went out the door. The great thing about living in a small apartment in Brooklyn was the fact that he was literally right over a Starbucks. And even though he didn't go out much (okay AT ALL), Starbucks was pretty much the next best thing to sliced bread. It had a nice quiet atmosphere, the music was relaxing, and the constant smell of coffee could probably quell any anxiety attack he had. He also knew the manager, Phil, who basically gave him free coffee and bagels as long as he did some small jobs like lifting crates or filing some cabinets. Plus he got paid for it, and he didn't even have to interact with the customers. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

Bucky opened the door leading into the coffee shop, narrowly avoiding the baristas and grabbing his favorite window seat. It was angled just so he could see the door and keep watch of any suspicious characters. Hey, you never know! A terrorist could be buying a grande frappucino and no one would ever notice.

"Your usual, Mr. Barnes." A cup of steaming hot black coffee was set before him.

"Thanks, Phil." Bucky looked up at him appreciatively, who only nodded respectfully and went back behind the counter. Phil was another person outside Bucky's limited group of friends whom he didn't mind. He always kept to himself, and he only bothered Bucky when it came to coffee and doing odd jobs around the café.

Bucky picked up the cup and couldn't help moaning at the smell. If there was one thing he couldn't live without, it was definitely coffee. He took a sip and moaned again.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd you say were married to that coffee," Sam said, plopping down in the seat across from him.

"If I could, I think I would marry it. It doesn't talk, doesn't bother you, and the only thing it does is burn your tongue."

Sam snorted, taking a bite of his blueberry muffin.

"Not to mention it tastes of utter perfection."

"Yeah, you're perfect for each other."

Bucky raised his cup and took another sip.

"So, how've you been?" Sam asked absentmindedly.

Bucky rolled his eyes from above his cup. "You know how I've been," his voice echoing into the cup.

"Yes, I know you've been watching endless amounts of TV and drinking over-priced coffee. But I'm still gonna ask anyways."

Sam and Bucky had been in the 107th Division together, and they were also two of the few survivors from their last mission in Afghanistan. While Sam had been able to get the help he needed, Bucky had been shirking it off, slipping farther and farther into his own depressive coma. He knew he needed help, but he just couldn't do it. The last time he had set foot in a VA hospital, he hyperventilated and Natasha had to pick him up. He stayed on her and Clint's couch for weeks until they decided to kick him back to his own apartment. So Sam never brought up the idea again. But that didn't stop Sam from asking him the same question every single time.

"You look great by the way," Bucky said casually.

Sam looked at him incredulously, then laughed and shook his head. It's not that he was jealous of Sam or anything. It's just, well, compared to Bucky, Sam did in fact look great. His face was shaved clean, his clothes neatly pressed and ironed, and he didn't have constant anxiety attacks either. Bucky on the other hand looked like a homeless person if he didn't try hard enough, and he could barely talk to people without having a meltdown of some sort. Today was one of his better days though. His hair was drawn up into a loose ponytail, his clothes a little rumpled but neater than usual, and he even remembered to shave today! Go him.

"So anything new happen lately?" Sam tried again.

Bucky thought for a bit. Had anything happened lately? Then he remembered Subway— dammit, STEVE, and their brief encounter.

"I took the subway."

Sam raised his eyebrow but tried not to appear too over-eager. "Really?"

He made sure to leave out the 'almost-breaking-down-in-a-subway-station' part.

"Well, I _tried_ to at least. But since when were there so many buttons and options?! God I'm never doing that again," Bucky huffed in frustration at the thought of those inferior machines. Not to mention the people! Was it always that crowded?

"Did you go anywhere at least?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Yeah, to Highland Park. I actually met a friend. Sort of." Wait, could he even call Steve a friend?

"Yeah? This friend of yours got a name?"

"Um, yeah, Steve. Steve Rogers."

Sam looked skeptical.

"Hey, I swear I'm not making him up! He helped me pay for my ticket. He even gave me his number…" His voice trailed off.

Sam stared at him until he understood the reason for Bucky's sudden silence. "You haven't talked to him since, have you?"

Bucky shrugged and scratched his head. "I mean, yes, well no? If you count calling and hanging up as talking?"

Sam groaned and banged his head on the table.

* * *

And that's how Bucky found himself sitting in some hole-in-the-wall diner just five blocks from his apartment. He had gotten there early and made sure to choose the farthest booth possible. He looked around nervously, glancing at the clock and fidgeting in his seat. It had taken some convincing from Sam, but Bucky finally managed to call Steve without hanging up on the first ring.

In his defense, Bucky had been wanting to meet Steve again since their little subway encounter.

1:00 am

To: Steve

From: Bucky

heyy. bored. just thinking of u. wanna f*ck u so—

But he had erased the message and slammed his phone shut before blushing in embarrassment.

So he decided to call him.

But after the first ring he threw his phone across the room and watched it bounce off the wall. Good thing it wasn't some fancy shit smart phone. It would have shattered upon impact.

_Hello? _A voice called out in the empty room.

Bucky had dived across the floor and shut his phone off at that point. He has the rug burns to prove it.

One could say social interaction wasn't his strongest point. It wasn't always like this though. Before he had joined the army like the impulsive kid he was, he was a real ladies' man. He may have also had it in for the men as well. He could win anyone over with that smirk on his face, his body brimming with confidence. People always asked him how he did it, but he just played along, pretending he had some strategy when in reality that was just the kind of guy he was. If anyone met him now, they would have laughed right at him. No longer was he the cocky, flirtatious guy that people remembered him as. Now, he was an anxiety-ridden, socially awkward war veteran who looked like a hobo with one arm. There were definitely women (and men) lining up at his door for a piece of this action.

He glanced at clock again. He knew he had gotten here early, but it was almost 6:30. Where was Steve?

Bucky ran over the conversation again in his head, making sure he had gotten the details and the place right.

_Hello?_

"_Uh, hi, is this.. Steve?" Bucky asked timidly._

_Yes, this is him! May I ask who's speaking?_

_Bucky swallowed nervously. "T-this is Bucky? You probably don't remember me, but you helped me at the subway station? I couldn't work the damn machine and you practically saved my ass?" _

_Oh yeah! I remember you now! James 'I think' Bucky Barnes right? _

_Bucky flushed red at the memory. Of all the things, that was what had caught Steve's attention? _

_After a moment of mortifying silence he heard Steve laugh through the receiver. Sorry sorry! Couldn't help myself. My one friend did always say I liked to tease people._

_Bucky smiled, feeling himself relax at Steve's easy and calm demeanor. _

_So what's up? I didn't think you'd be calling out of the blue like this all of a sudden._

_Bucky felt the anxiety creeping back in, but he swallowed it back. He was a sergeant! If he could march through enemy territory and get blown up by an IED in the process then he could certainly hold one simple conversation over the phone. _

"_I, uh, well I was HOPING if you'd uh, m-maybe like to meet up or… something?" He offered weakly. _

_Silence._

_Oh! Sorry ha-ha, just got a little distracted. Uh, yeah sure that would be great actually! Where do you live? Maybe I could come over? Or you could come over here, whatever you're comfortable with! Although my place is kind of a mess right now, so maybe your place? Wait no hold on. _

_Steve was rambling. Bucky couldn't help but picture a floundering Steve, probably trying to straighten up his place as fast as he could. How cute. _

"_Hey, my place isn't really in tip-top shape either. Maybe we could go out or something?" Wait, where had that come from? Bucky rarely left his apartment, and if he did it was either to get coffee at the Starbucks down below or to go to Nat and Clint's place. _

_Go out? Yeah, yeah that sounds like a great idea! There's actually a diner nearby me, on Broadway near S 6__th__ and Berry Street?_

And from there they had set up a time and decided to meet this Friday. The diner was pretty close by, and it wasn't very hard to miss. It was an obnoxious bright red, and it kind of looked run down. On the inside, it was actually pretty nice. It almost reminded Bucky of Starbucks if it wasn't for the loud clambering of people and oh god were those children? Bucky swallowed nervously and tried to tamper down his nerves. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and settled for fiddling with his jacket's zipper.

Where was Steve?

He heard the bell ring and the door open, and Steve's face swam into view. He looked around trying to find Bucky, who sighed in relief at the sight of him.

Bucky stood up half-way, waving Steve over. Once their eyes met, Steve broke out into a smile (which Bucky thought was just endearing) and made his way over.

"Bucky! Hi! Sorry am I late? I was, well, I was trying to find my jacket. It's kind of cold out isn't it?" Steve rattled away, a slight flush on his face. He was wearing a white t-shirt that was _extremely_ tight on him, perfectly outlining his abs and other muscles, along with jeans and a black leather jacket that hugged his frame perfectly. He looked so casual, but Bucky couldn't help it. It turned him on. Steve was pretty hot.

Like, really, really sexy hot. Like the kind of hot that Bucky wanted to pin against the wall, rock his hips against and then fuck the brains out of.

"N-no, it's fine. I was early. Uh, sit down! You're probably starving," Bucky said in a high-pitched voice.

"_I see someone finally went through puberty," _was what Natasha would probably say if she was here right now.

Bucky sat down awkwardly with Steve following suit.

"It's really great to see you again," Steve said earnestly as he picked up the menu.

Bucky gazed up in surprise. "Oh, uh, it's… good to you see too." Dammit Barnes, could you be more awkward?

"How have you been? Taken any subways recently?" Bucky looked confused at the question, but then realized Steve was _teasing him._

"Har har, very funny. And no, actually. I think I'm never going to take a subway again."

Steve laughed at that. Bucky would pay him a million dollars (if he had that kind of money) to hear Steve laugh like that all day.

"Oh come on! They're not that bad."

"Please, I could barely work the stupid machine. And the people behind me were getting impatient." Bucky paused for a second before adding conspiratorially, "Have I mentioned that I really hate people too? Along with subways?"

Steve laughed again, this time louder. A couple people turned their way, causing Steve to blush at his outburst. Bucky tried to hold back his own laugh by biting his lip. God Steve was adorable.

"Well you seem to be doing just fine with me," Steve observed after the people had returned to their own conversations.

Bucky shrugged, trying to appear cool and calm. "Eh, some people are tolerable."

"Oh, so I'm tolerable now? Glad to know I've been upgraded to 'tolerable.'" Steve gave a cheeky grin, which did something to Bucky's heart and made his toes tingle.

Man did he have it bad.

The rest of the night proceeded well. In fact, Bucky was pretty surprised that he didn't break down right then and there. Sure there were a lot of people, but every time he got nervous and felt the anxiety coming back he would just stare at Steve and it would all go away. It was so strange. Of course Steve would catch him staring. Bucky would then have to bury his head in his food so it wouldn't be obvious how horribly red his face was.

Bucky leaned back in his seat and moaned. That was probably the best meal he'd had since coming back from Afghanistan. And all this time he'd been living on cereal and take-out. How did he not know about this place before?

"So what'd you think?" Steve asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Steve, that was amazing. Oh my gosh no you don't understand. I could probably eat a hundred of those burgers."

Steve laughed, his ears growing a little pink. Probably from the beer.

"I mean not a hundred, but you know what I mean. And that CHEESECAKE. God that was _heavenly_. Steve, you need to take me back here. Seriously. This is my new favorite place," Bucky said with a mock-grave expression.

Steve looked up to meet his eyes, but he didn't say anything.

Bucky furrowed his brow. "Something on my face?"

Steve shook his head. "No, it's just," he smiled. "You wanna come back here? With me? I take it you don't mind spending time with me?"

"Well… I mean, yeah, sure. Why not?" Bucky scratched his head as he tried to comprehend the question. No, he didn't mind spending time with Steve. In fact, he was actually willing to put aside his fear of people just to go out with him again. Steve was great. He was funny, sweet, dorky, and did he mention just great overall?

Steve smiled again, this time brighter and more genuine. "Good, cause I was gonna ask you out again anyways."

"Oh," was all Bucky could manage. He was slightly taken aback by Steve's… Steveness. If there was one thing Bucky'd learned tonight, it was that Steve was just pure honest by nature. There wasn't a single conniving bone in that gorgeous, buff body of his and he always meant every word he said. Bucky had never met someone like this before, and it was really doing strange things to his heart. Maybe he needed to make a doctor's appointment soon.

"I-I hope that's okay cause, you know, I—" Steve cleared his throat. "I really did enjoy myself too. And I'd like to do it again, if you don't mind."

Bucky blinked a few times before coming back to the question. "Er, yeah, uh, no! That would be, uh, awesome. No w-we should do this again." Maybe he also needed to see a speech therapist too.

They smiled at each as the waitress came around with their check. Bucky went to grab for it but Steve's reflexes were just slightly faster.

Bucky raised his eyebrow. "Woah there buddy, someone's a little eager."

"My treat, don't worry," he waved off.

"No man, seriously here lemme—" Bucky reached behind to grab his wallet but Steve's arm shot out and grabbed his wrist.

"Honestly, don't worry about it. I was the one who suggested this diner in the first place. Besides, what kind of a gentleman would I be if I didn't pay for the check?"

Bucky's mouth quirked up into a half-smile. Oh yeah, did he mention Steve was_ a complete and totally chivalrous guy_ too? How did he even exist right now?

His eyes looked down at Steve's hand, which was still on his wrist. His left wrist to be exact. And by left wrist he meant his prosthetic.

"Um."

Once Steve noticed he quickly retracted his hand and laughed nervously.

"Are you sure you don't want me to pay?" Bucky continued, brushing off what just happened. "I mean I know I look like a homeless person sometimes but I'm not exactly poor or anything." Not that he looked like a homeless person now of course. Bucky had at least cleaned himself up for this, and he had to admit, he looked kind of good. Even Sam had whistled and said if he was gay, he would totally go for Bucky's ass.

Steve shook his head. "Really, Buck, it's my treat." He still looked unconvinced. "Alright I'll make you a deal. Next time, you choose the place and time and it'll be _your_ treat." Steve gave a toothy grin which of course Bucky had no choice but to give into.

After a moment he threw up his hands in defeat. "Aargh! Fine, you win! Happy?" He made sure to pout.

"Yes, very happy, in fact." If Steve smiled any bigger, well, Bucky wasn't complaining.

* * *

"So no sex?"

"For the last time we did not have—"

"Really? You're not lying are you? Cause I would have noticed that after-glow on your skin—"

"NO NAT WE DID NOT HAVE SEX."

Natasha rolled her eyes. They were in her and Clint's apartment, lazing on the couch and blazing through 3 seasons of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. Clint was at the shooting range with some friend named Bruce?

Natasha's legs were settled on Bucky's lap, with his feet resting on the coffee table. Normally she would admonish him for that if it wasn't for the supposed hot sex he shared with Steve two nights before. Honestly. All they had done was enjoy a nice dinner, bantering back and forth and sharing life stories.

Bucky found out Steve was a free-lance artist and painted buildings for a living. He owned a golden retriever named Thor and a black cat named Loki (interesting names, but hey who was he to judge?). He also lived not too far from Bucky, and if he wanted, Bucky could visit any time.

Bucky hadn't revealed too much about himself, except that he used to be in the army, could power-watch any TV show, and he really liked coffee and was probably a Starbucks addict. But other than that he wasn't very interesting.

"_No, I'm sure that's not true!" Steve had insisted. "I'm sure you're more special than you think you are Buck."_

Bucky's eyes had practically lit up at the compliment. Even now he could feel a goofy smile on his face. After that Steve walked him home, which Bucky pointed out as very gentleman-like and Steve blushed like crazy. They had stared at each other for a good ten minutes, neither one wanting to leave just yet. And then just as Steve started to walk away (albeit very reluctantly), Bucky had called out to him.

"_Hey!" Steve turned back towards Bucky, who closed the distance between them._

"_Thanks, for, you know, tonight and everything." He shuffled his feet, his eyes pointed to the ground. _

"_And I mean it, you know. I do want to do this again. With you. Of course." He made sure to look up so it didn't seem like was saying that to the sidewalk._

_And when he did, Steve's smile was more than enough affirmation. _

"Hellooo? Earth to James? You look really creepy right now, just saying." Natasha waved her hand in front of his face.

Bucky slapped it away and started to poke her instead.

"Oh it is SO on."

It turned into an all-out poke war which lasted for approximately five minutes before both of them were panting and trying to catch their breath.

Natasha laid on top of Bucky, her arm whacking him in the face. This earned her a scowl.

"You know you love me."

Bucky rolled his eyes and ruffled her hair. Of course he loved her. She was his best friend, and if it wasn't for her he would probably be even more depressed than he already was. Natasha had pulled him back up, pushing him until he finally decided to start living a little. Even if it did mean spending his every waking hour watching TV and drinking coffee with Sam. Still. It was better than before, if not by a little.

"James?"

"Mhm?" He hummed lazily in response, playing with a curly strand of her hair.

"I just want you to be happy, okay?"

Bucky kissed her temple. "I am happy."

Natasha gave him one of her I-know-you're-lying-so-stop-lying-I-can-see-right-through-you looks.

"Okay, maybe not 100% happy, but I'm happy!"

"James," Nat simply said.

"Alright 85%"

"…"

"Okay fine! God, 50%"

Natasha patted him on the head triumphantly. "Great! Now that you've admitted your faltering happiness, go call your subway boyfriend and set up another date with him."

Needless to stay another poke war ensued.

* * *

His phone was ringing. He could just make out the vibrating noise somewhere in his bed. He groaned and rolled over reluctantly, feeling blindly at the sheets until he found it.

"lo?"

"BARNES," the voice bellowed in his ear.

Bucky winced and had to pull his phone back a bit. "S this?"

"Who do you think twinkle toes?" From the tone of his voice and the level of sassiness Bucky could only guess who it was. That and the fact he didn't know many sassy people. Okay Natasha was pretty sassy but she wasn't a guy either.

"Whaddya want Tony?" His Brooklyn accent drawled. Even though he had been gone for three years, his accent still came out sometimes. Like when he woke up in the morning for example.

"Just wanted to make sure you were still alive and breathing. And your annual fitting and check-up." Oh, he meant for the prosthetic. Tony was also his mechanic and the one who supplied him with the arm.

"Right, I'll write it down sss—" He yawned mid-sentence. Sometimes he wondered if Tony was actually mindful of other people. Like, say, if they were still asleep at 9 a.m.

"Tony?" Pepper Potts called from the background.

"In here babe."

"I need you to look over these papers and sign them." Bucky heard a rustling noise.

"Babe, you know I don't like being handed things. Pet peeve remember?"

Bucky could almost feel Pepper rolling her eyes through the phone. They bickered like that for a while until he heard Pepper call his name.

"Tony! Please don't tell me you're bothering James so early in the morning again!" Thank you, someone who _finally_ gets it!

Bucky yawned, proving Pepper's point.

"Honey please, he loves this. Total masochist. Right buddy?"

"Just so you know I'm giving you the finger right now." He heard Pepper huff in response and the sound of her heels clicking away. Pepper was Tony's personal assistant, CEO of Stark Industries and girlfriend of 5 years. How she managed to put up with Tony he will never know.

"So!" Tony clapped his hands, making Bucky jump a little. "I just heard from our favorite CIA assassin." Natasha was NOT an assassin contrary to popular belief. "I heard you had some real hot magical sex with—"

Bucky promptly flipped his phone shut and threw it somewhere back in the bed. He made a mental note to speak to Natasha about a little something called privacy.

* * *

"Really? _No sex?"_

"Oh my god, why does everyone keep asking me that?!" If it wasn't Sam, Bucky would probably dump his coffee on the guy by now.

Sam raised his eyebrow.

"Tony," was all Bucky said.

Sam gave him an understanding look.

"Hey, I'm just asking here."

"Uh-huh, sure."

They sat in suspicious silence for a while.

"Did you at least have a hot make-out session?" Sam asked quietly.

Just for that, Bucky made sure steal every last bit of his freakin banana nut muffin.

* * *

Three days went by before Steve finally called him up again. He thought maybe Steve wanted to go somewhere different this time, like Times Square or Coney Island. God Bucky would not have been able to survive that. Even if it was Steve, there was only so much Bucky could handle. But what Steve suggested instead was a little different from what Bucky had in mind.

"This is… a botanical garden?" Bucky looked around at the plants surrounding them. It was all very… _green_.

"Very good detective. Now what else can you tell me?" Steve waggled his eyebrows.

Bucky wacked him on the arm and shoved at him playfully. If Steve wasn't so strong he probably would have fallen into that shrub just now.

"I know it's a botanical garden."

As an afterthought he added, "Punk."

"Jerk," Steve countered back. They smiled and broke out laughing like a couple of teenagers.

It was a typical Thursday morning, which meant Phil usually called up Bucky to help around Starbucks. After that, Bucky would trudge back up to his apartment, curl up in his cocoon of blankets and watch CSI: Miami for the rest of the afternoon. But before he could make it through the first ten episodes, he was graced with a call from the beautiful Steve Rogers himself.

Normally Bucky would have said no. If anyone hadn't noticed, he didn't exactly like going out. People weren't his thing. But seeing how it was Steve well, how could he resist? So he had put on his best clothes, gotten rid of his 5 o'clock shadow and tied up his hair into a bun.

And now they were walking through a garden somewhere on the east side of Brooklyn enjoying the nice weather. To be honest, this wasn't as scary as Bucky thought it would be. There were barely any people. Bucky thought that was maybe why Steve decided to come here, but he erased the thought. Steve didn't know him that well after all.

"So, we're in a garden—"

"_Botanical_ garden," Steve interrupted.

This earned him another playful shove. "Lemme finish punk. So we're in a garden, the weather's great, and… what? That's it? No other evil intentions? No plans to steal my wallet or something?"

Steve gave him a questioningly look.

"Sorry. Right. Three years in the army remember?" Bucky waved his left hand for effect. "It's kinda part of the training, you know? Be wary of your enemies, always keep a look-out, etc. Boring stuff, which you probably don't wanna hear about."

"I know."

"I mean really its super boring you'd probably want to—"

"Bucky." That stopped Bucky's rambling.

"Steve."

At this point they had both stopped walking and were now staring at each other. Steve probably had a couple inches on him. If Bucky reached up, just a little bit, then they would probably be—

He shook his head. _Bad sergeant! No pervy thoughts in the botanical garden. _

Steve tilted his head and gave him a crooked smile. He should have put 'great smile' in his job resume. God how Bucky wanted to kiss that smile off his face.

"I know. About the army stuff, I mean. I did three tours you know?"

"You… wait, what? The army? You…" There was no way Bucky sounded like a coherent human being right now. Steve Rogers? Army? _The_ Steve Rogers? The one who wore hot leather jackets, rode a motorcycle (boy was Bucky surprised at that one), saved kittens from trees and helped old ladies cross the street? That Steve Rogers?

Steve squared his shoulders and gave a salute. "Captain Steven Grant Rogers at your service. Three tours in Iraq."

Bucky looked at him in disbelief until he gave his own salute.

"Sergeant James 'I think' Bucky Barnes." Steve laughed at that.

"Two tours in Afghanistan."

"Two tours? But I thought you spent three years in the army?"

"Technically I was on my third tour at that point, but I only got halfway through it before I left. So really two and a half tours." Bucky grabbed his left arm out of habit.

Steve noticed the motion and eyed his arm carefully. "Was it because of your arm?" He asked quietly.

Bucky clenched his first and gave a bitter laugh. "Wow, you just get straight to the point don't ya?" It was meant to be a joke, but it came out harsher than he expected.

Steve's eyes widened when he realized his mistake and started flailing his arms. "No! I-I mean, your arm, because you suddenly clutched it, and… Oh god, I'm a terrible person. I shouldn't have brought it up I'm so sorry oh god I'm sorry."

Steve was rambling again, another endearing quality about him. Also his ability to blush so hard that he practically turned into a tomato.

"Steve, buddy. Relax. Take a breath. I'm not mad or anything. It's just different. People usually avoid the subject altogether or just give me sad puppy dog eyes. Not many people come right out and say it. So, I guess thanks for that. I appreciate it." This was pretty much the reason why Bucky just avoided people altogether. They never knew how to act around him, and kids were even worse. Obviously they meant well and couldn't really help their blunt nature, but the staring made him uncomfortable. He didn't know how to deal with people, so he secluded himself from society and built walls around him. The only people he could truly deal with were Sam, Natasha and Clint, and sometimes Tony. Tony could be just as frank as a child, but at least he didn't act weird about it. His ability to poke and tease at Bucky's arm was why he didn't mind him so much. If it wasn't for him, Bucky would be leading a one-arm life.

"So, can I ask what happened then?" Steve asked hesitantly. His blush had gone down, but he was still a bit red in the face.

Bucky shrugged. "Sure. My team and I were out on patrol, it was nighttime. It was supposed to be a normal patrol, nothing different. But it was dark, and one of my men stepped on an IED. It was a pretty nasty one. I lost half my team that day." He rubbed his left arm and took a breath. "Me, my buddy Sam and three others were the only ones who made it back. The rest came home with just a few random body parts. We couldn't even give them a proper burial." Bucky could remember it clear as day. It was raining, and there were crying families all around him. Sam was patched up beside him, tears streaming down his own face. Bucky couldn't even think properly. All he could think about was the stump where his left arm should have been.

He shuddered, when he felt a warm pair of arms embrace him. Bucky stilled.

"I'm so, so sorry Buck," Steve whispered, rubbing his hand up and down Bucky's back. "I know how it feels, to lose your teammates. God when I came back from my second tour I was a mess. Don't even know why I went back for my third one." Bucky leaned into the embrace, carefully resting his head on his shoulder.

"If you need someone to talk to, I'm right here."

They stayed like that for a while, just two men hugging it out in a botanical garden. Completely normal.

Bucky popped his head up, a sudden realization dawning on him. "Wait, is that why you helped me the other day on the subway?"

Steve pulled back and blushed. "Guess my secret's up huh?"

Bucky laughed and leaned his head back down again. Steve continued the soothing motions across his back.

"Steve?" Bucky asked after a moment.

"Yeah Buck?"

"I think I like you."

The soothing motions stopped.

Crap. Bucky hadn't meant to blurt that out. It was just they were in a freakin botanical garden and they had both shared their war stories and now Steve was hugging him and just being a really nice guy. He really couldn't help it.

He felt Steve shaking against him and he looked up to find him suppressing his laughter.

"W-what?"

"Y-you _think…_ you… l-like… m-me?" Steve laughed out.

Bucky's face went up in flames. He was never gonna let that one go was he?

"Guess my secret's out too then," he mumbled.

Steve finally calmed down and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Well, I think I like you too James Buchanan Barnes."

Bucky ducked his head and couldn't help but pout. "No, Steve. You don't get it. I think I might like you. Like, _like like_ you."

"Good. Cause I think I _like like_ you too."

Steve tucked his finger under Bucky's chin and brought his face up to meet his. He had a serious look on his face. Bucky bit his lip. They were so close, just like that day in the station. But Steve pulled back, an apologetic look on his face. Bucky practically deflated like a balloon.

"Trust me, I do like you. Really. Ever since that day I couldn't stop thinking about you." Bucky blushed at the sudden confession.

"But I don't want to force you into anything you're not comfortable with yet. So I'll give you some time to sort out your own feelings. Obviously you didn't mean to blurt that out just now, and I don't want to go into this before you realize you made a mistake or something."

Bucky grunted, but he knew there was some truth to Steve's words. Steve was the first person he actually really liked in a long time. He didn't want to mess this up.

He felt Steve's lips brush lightly against his forehead. "I'll wait, don't worry. Take as much time as you need."

Bucky looked at him gratefully.

He was going to do this right, to hell with his PTSD.

* * *

"Hey! It's Subway Guy right?"

Steve blushed and looked past Clint at Bucky. _Subway Guy? _He mouthed.

Bucky shrugged. Natasha came up from behind and whacked Clint with a rolled up newspaper.

"Steve! Hi, I'm Natasha, James' best friend. Pleasure to finally meet. I've heard a lot about you." She shook hands with Steve and brought him into the apartment.

After Bucky explained the situation to her, Natasha was more than happy to help. It was her idea to invite Steve over for dinner. Bucky would have invited Steve over himself, but given the state of his apartment Nat and Clint's place seemed like the better choice.

"Hey," Bucky said shyly, knocking his shoulder against Steve's. Natasha rolled her eyes while Clint made some kind of gagging noise. Bucky shot them death glares while they sauntered off snickering.

"Hey yourself," Steve smiled. Bucky blushed and quickly reached up to kiss him on the cheek before thinking twice about it.

The flush on Steve's face quickly consumed him. "Don't boost my ego. It'll only make me feel special," he said sheepishly.

Bucky laughed and dropped his head on Steve's chest. "Good because you are." Steve chuckled and placed his arms lightly on Bucky's waist.

"Hey boys," Natasha called out from one room over. Steve quickly released him, his face becoming even redder. Bucky would have laughed if he didn't feel so bad.

"Try to keep it in the bedroom would you?" This time it was Bucky's turn to blush.

"NATASHA ROMANOFF I SWEAR TO GOD."

All he could hear was her evil laughter.

* * *

Dinner with Steve had gone better than expected, save for a few sexual innuendos (courtesy of Nat and Clint). They really seemed to like him, and Steve liked them too.

After that day in the gardens, excuse him, BOTANICAL gardens, they had been hanging out a lot more lately. Sometimes they would go back to that diner, walk through a nice quiet park, or just curl up on Steve's couch watching Jurassic Park or some other lame Steve movie. This was the most Bucky had ever done in one week, and honestly, he looked forward to spending time with Steve. It was always something new and never over-whelming. The great thing about Steve was that he understood Bucky's hesitance, being a war vet himself and all.

Bucky and Steve had also started flirting with each other, and more openly too. It was obvious there was this thing between them, but Bucky never asked and Steve never pressured him. He was still trying to figure out this whole emotions thing.

It started off with casual touches, like shoulders touching or hands brushing against each other. It then evolved into hugging each other longer than necessary or Bucky burrowing his head into Steve's neck on the couch. Steve would even tousle his hair affectionately until Bucky blushed and pushed his hand away, muttering something along the lines of, "I'm not a kid anymore."

They would exchange quips back and forth, their favorite one being "Jerk," Steve would say. "Punk," Bucky would reply right back.

It was going well. Really well in fact. And each day they spent together, Bucky grew more and more confident of his feelings towards Steve.

* * *

The first time Bucky brought Steve to his apartment, Steve didn't laugh or mock him for the messiness. He just _understood_. They spent four hours cleaning up the place.

The first time Steve kissed Bucky, they were watching 50 Days of Summer on Steve's couch. It couldn't get more cliché than that. Steve kept apologizing for moving too fast and rushing into things and oh god I'm so sorry—

Bucky just shut him up with another kiss.

The first time Bucky had a meltdown in front of Steve, he just held him in his arms and rocked him back and forth. Steve even made a blanket fort and they huddled up in there for the whole day, drinking hot cocoa and snuggling.

The first time Steve saw Bucky take off his arm, Bucky wouldn't stop shaking. Steve just kissed his left collarbone and simply said, "You're beautiful."

It was a time of firsts for Bucky, but he didn't really mind. He was happy. God he was so damn happy. He even decided to try the subway again, but this time with Steve in tow to make sure he didn't screw up like the last time. Bucky still had panic attacks from time to time, but Steve was always there to comfort and soothe him back to normalcy. Bucky of course was so grateful for that, but he still had his doubts. He still wasn't very confident about their relationship, despite Steve's constant reassurances time and time again.

* * *

One day he asked Steve, "Aren't you tired of this?"

Steve just looked at him with a crease between his brows. "What do you mean?"

"I mean this." Bucky gestured to himself. "I mean all of _this, _Steve."

Steve grabbed both of Bucky's arms and planted a kiss on his forehead. "Bucky, I could never get tired of you. You know that."

Bucky just curled into Steve and clutched at his shirt, pretending there weren't tears streaming down his face.

* * *

"I have anxiety attacks. I still can't deal with people very well. I still have trouble taking the freakin _subway_. I can't go out to a bar without feeling anxious about the people all around me. I can't enjoy going out with my own friends. I don't even have that many friends! I work part time sort of at a Starbucks, and I'm crazy about you. What do you expect to get out of this?"

Steve just blinked in confusion at the sudden outburst.

Bucky was taking a shower, and he had been in there for quite a long time. Steve needed something to occupy himself with so he settled for sketching the inside of Bucky's apartment. It looked pretty good actually, and he was almost done with the shading when Bucky suddenly burst out of the bathroom with that declaration.

He knew what Bucky was trying to do. He was trying to scare Steve out of the relationship.

They had been going steady for six months now. It was a slow process, but it was so worth the wait.

Bucky was happy, don't get him wrong. But he knew happiness couldn't last forever. And on those days, he usually called up Nat in a panic because he didn't know what to do. Today was one of those days, but unfortunately Nat wasn't here to help him.

Steve looked thoughtful for a moment before standing from his perch at the counter and gathering up Bucky in his arms. He kissed the crown of his head and felt Bucky relax against him, but he was still a little stiff.

"You've forgotten that I used to have PTSD too Bucky. Still do in fact. Maybe not as bad as before, but it comes and goes in waves. You can't ever really escape from that. Soldier's curse I guess." Steve shrugged.

"I was a recluse too for a while you know? I didn't speak to anyone, and I completely shut people out of my life. It wasn't until Peggy (his best friend since high school) kicked my butt out of bed one morning and said, 'Steve. You need to do something about your life. Either get your ass out of bed or get your ass handed to you. You don't have an option here.' So I finally went to the VA hospital, sat in on a couple meetings, and I can't tell you how worth it it was. I've met so many great people, people who share the same situation as me. People who _get it_. It's going to take some time, but you'll get there, I promise. You just need to keep trying. But I'm not going anywhere, no matter bad you try to scare me." Steve looked pretty triumphant after finishing his speech. Smug little punk.

Bucky opened his mouth, then closed it again. There was no way he could counter that.

"I love you," he blurted out finally.

Steve's smile faltered and his eyes went wide. The shock on his face would be pretty comical if not given the situation.

"You—"

"I love you," Bucky repeated again, this time more confidently.

Steve gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"I mean it, too," Bucky added, in case he didn't get the message. He's not sure where this sudden confidence is coming from, but he finds himself meaning every word of it. He does love Steve. He loves Steve's patience, his dorkiness, his lame movies, the way he wakes up from long naps, the way he touches Bucky's face like he's the most precious thing in the world. He loves everything about Steve.

He _loves_ Steve.

He thinks maybe he needs to call Nat later just to re-confirm, but for now he's pretty sure.

_He absolutely loves Steve. _

After getting over his initial shock, Steve finally comes back to himself with the biggest smile imaginable.

"You love me, huh?" His eyebrow quirks up.

"Yes, I do." He's not backing down from this. Even if Steve doesn't love him back, Bucky will probably just tie up him and stick him in the Starbucks cellar or something.

"You sure you don't _think_ you love me?"

Bucky groans. Really? This whole thing again?

"Okay, listen—"

"I'm listening."

Bucky punches him in the arm. "Don't interrupt ya little punk. As I was saying, I was really embarrassed and flustered at the time. I could barely talk to anyone, let alone the hot blonde subway guy who I just met and come on—"

Steve's lips were suddenly plastered against his own. Steve's tongue licked his bottom lip, causing a muffled whimper from the back of Bucky's throat. He opened his mouth to allow entry for Steve's tongue. It swirled around a bit, exploring the inside of his mouth and licking his teeth. Bucky moaned, his sweatpants growing a bit tighter. Steve pressed his leg in between Bucky's thighs and pushed against his growing bulge.

"Mmph, S-Steve," Bucky moaned against his lips. They broke apart panting, a string of saliva between their mouths.

Steve wiped his lips, then used his sleeve to wipe up Bucky's.

"Ha-ha, indirect kiss," Bucky joked.

Steve just looked at him before pecking him on the lips, his chin, and his nose.

"Hey," he said, pressing his nose against Bucky's cheek.

Bucky turned to face him.

"I love you too, jerk."

Bucky blushed and scowled. So much for that growing confidence.

"Shaddup you punk." And there goes the accent again. But the affection was all there.

He could feel the tips of his ears burning now.

"Mhmm Buuucckky," Steve whined, nudging the side of his head.

"Whaddya want ya little—"

But Bucky never got to finish that sentence.

* * *

Author's note: For those who want to see the picture of the diner

maps/place/Diner/ 40.710658,-73.965577,2a,90y,90t/data=!3m5!1e2!3m3!1s-CLJ0K6Dp0dI%2FUgkOCHRdInI%2FAAAAAAAATKY%2FkY_d64ECK-I!2e4!3e12!4m9!1m6!2m5!1sdiners!3m3!1sdiners!2sBrooklyn,+NY!3s0x89c24416947c2109:0x82765c7404007886!3m1!1s0x89c25bd92a2636bf:0x339ce4674aba271f!6m1!1e1


	2. Iced-Tea Situation

Author's note: From here on out the story will consist of a bunch of one-shots set at different points in their relationship.

Summary: In which Bucky frets over iced tea and Tony tries to give him a pep talk.

* * *

"Tony I don't know what I'm doing," Bucky said. He was clutching his phone like a life-line while huddled in his usual cocoon of blankets.

It should have been a typical Friday night. Grab a muffin and hot cocoa from downstairs, watch some Tom Cruise movies, and then sleep for 12 hours straight. But no. Instead he had to be sitting on his couch going through another panic attack about his relationship with Steve. And hyperventilating to Tony Stark. Like he said, typical Friday night.

"Hey, twinkle toes." He heard Stark sigh through the phone for the umpteenth time that night. "You need to calm the fuck down, seriously. You and Steve are, like, the love-birds of the century. He's not gonna break up with you just because you poured iced tea instead of milk into his coffee."

Yep, a typical Friday night.

Normally the person he would be hyperventilating to was Nat, but she was currently in Russia on some other secret CIA mission. He could talk to Clint but… he'd rather not. Then Tony called to remind him to come down to his work-shop and Bucky had just let it all out right then and there. He honestly didn't know what happened.

"But what if he hates me?" Which was ridiculous, considering Steve obviously didn't and Bucky was just overreacting. As usual.

"Yes, absolutely. He's probably plotting his revenge right now. 'How dare that Bucky, putting ICED TEA in my coffee! It's an abomination!'"

"Not helping," Bucky deadpanned.

"I'm not 'helping' because you're obsessing." He heard something metallic drop in the background followed by a string of curses. "Look, if you're so concerned—thank you Dummy—then just give him a call or something."

Right. Because that was SUCH A GREAT IDEA. Steve would just laugh and make fun of his constant Steve-problems.

"And no, Mr. Boy Scout would most likely, 100% not make fun of you," Tony said, as if reading his mind which was very creepy. "Hell, do you even know the guy? He gives out puppies and rainbows to little children like its fucking Christmas. He's the epitome of all human goodness and rallies for world peace on a daily basis. He probably goes to church every Sunday too."

Taking that all into consideration, Bucky was still scared. Sure, Steve accepted everything about him and probably lov— _liked_ him till the ends of the earth, but it was still too early on in the relationship to tell. Bucky groaned and dropped his head into his hands. See, this is what happens when you're a socially awkward, PTSD-diagnosed hobo who doesn't have a single fucking clue about how to properly date someone.

"Look, twinkle toes. Give him a call, tell him how you will be ridden with nightmares for the rest of your life about the traumatic iced tea thing, and if he makes fun of you—which I highly doubt he will—feel free to call me back, cry, WHATEVER, as I work on this very important project which Pepper will kick my ass for if I don't get it done by 8 a.m. tomorrow."

Bucky peaked through his fingers and sighed in resignation. "…Okay."

"Great! See how easy that was? Now go call lover-boy while I try not get my ass kicked by my girlfriend."

Bucky heard a beeping noise signaling that the line was dead. Even though Tony could be a little bit of a prick, he at least knew when to get things done. Another reason why Bucky kept Tony around in his life. Well, maybe because he also needed him to maintain the arm. But that was beside the point.

Bucky took a breath before dialing Steve's number from memory and carefully holding the phone to his ear.

Three rings, he counted, until the line finally went through.

"_Hello_?" A tired voice yawned.

Shit. What time was it?! Bucky quickly glanced at his clock to find '12:00 a.m.' staring back at him. Wow. He was such a shitty boyfriend. Boyfriend? Bucky blushed at his automatic use of the word. Had they even gotten to that point yet?

"Hello? Bucky?"

Bucky fumbled with the phone. "H-hey! Sorry, just er, contemplating some things. Sorry, did I wake you?"

Steve chuckled. "No, I wasn't sleeping, just sketching. I couldn't fall asleep actually, but now I think it's kinda starting to hit me. But anyways what's up? You okay?"

Bucky carded his fingers through his hair, a habit he had whenever he got nervous.

"Uh, yeah I'm fine. I was just thinking about.. uh.. what happened.. earlier."

"Earlier?"

"Uh, yeah. You know. With the coffee… and iced tea…" His voice grew quiet at that last part.

"Coffee and iced tea? What.." It took Steve a few moments for it to register. "Oh! That! Is that what was bothering you that you needed to call me?"

It wasn't exactly accusatory, but the way Steve put it made Bucky feel stupid for fretting over something so small. And for the past hour and a half too!

"Uhhhh you know what nevermind. It was stupid so, uh, I'm just gonna hang up now so goodbye—"

"Wait wait Buck! Hold on a minute! It's okay, really! It's not stupid. Knowing you, it was probably eating you up alive right?"

Bucky looked guiltily at the TV.

"Hey," Steve said, drawing Bucky's attention back. "It's fine, honest. If something like that was bothering you, you should have called sooner! Spare me the boredom and insomnia ha-ha." He paused. "I'm not mad though if that's what you're wondering. I wouldn't hold a grudge over you for something like that."

Bucky let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Stark was right. There was no way Steve would break up with him over such a miniscule issue. This was why Bucky loved him. Again, Bucky blushed for throwing the word 'love' around so carelessly. This relationship thing was still so new to him on so many levels.

"Thanks Steve. And sorry again. I dunno why I just, you know," Bucky smiled weakly.

"Sure Buck, anytime. Get some rest, you're probably exhausted."

"Mhm, kay," Bucky yawned, the fatigue suddenly sneaking up on him. "Night, Stevie."

"Night Buck. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite."

Bucky laughed at Steve's words and hung up, but not before falling headfirst into the couch.

* * *

"I love you," Steve whispered to the dead phone line.


	3. First Loves Never Last

Author's note: A brief back story on Steve from his own POV.

Summary: First loves never last. That doesn't mean your second love won't.

* * *

Before Bucky, it was Sharon. Sharon Carter. Long blonde wavy hair, confident stature, and could hold her own beer better than anyone. God was Steve head over heels for her at the time. Peggy had introduced her as her cousin, and when Steve laid eyes upon her he knew he was screwed.

All throughout high school Steve gaped and stared at Sharon. He had no idea how to approach her, let alone talk to her! Steve hadn't always been the big, beefy guy he was now. When he was younger, he was a stick-thin kid with a pair of bad lungs. Not to mention the target of every bully in school. It wasn't until high school that Steve started working out a bit. He finally out-grew his asthma, and soon all the girls were giving him goo-goo eyes. But that still didn't mean Steve knew how to talk to women.

Peggy was constantly badgering him about when he was gonna make his move, but Steve never did. Even after they graduated from high school, college, and then moved on with their own separate lives, Steve never did make his move. He never told Sharon how he felt about her.

It wasn't until the night before his deployment overseas that Peggy called him up and started hounding him.

"Steve, you _have_ to tell her."

Steve rolled his eyes as he cradled the receiver between his ear and shoulder. "Peggy, you know I can't."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm going to Iraq tomorrow! I'm not gonna do that to Sharon. I'm not gonna make her wait a year, maybe two (little did he know it would be three)."

"I still think you should tell her," Peggy insisted. "I mean what, she's just gonna go through life not knowing that the guy she's known since HIGH SCHOOL is in love with her and she'll—"

"Peggy," Steve said finally, taking the receiver back in his hands. Peggy stopped her ranting.

Steve rubbed his face and sighed. "I just… I can't. I'm going out tomorrow. I just can't." As an afterthought he added, "Besides, she only thinks of me as a brother. Nothing more. How am I supposed to start a relationship with her if that's all she sees me as?"

"…"

"Hey, you still there?"

"I just think it's sad, okay?" Peggy said all of a sudden. "That a guy who can stand up to bullies and isn't afraid to take a punch for someone can't even confess to the girl he loves. Think about it Steve. Do you really wanna continue things like this and then regret it years later?" And with that she hung up the phone.

"Nice talking to you too," Steve muttered. He pressed the end button and rested his head on the counter. Maybe the cold would soften his brain out and help him think. Yes, Peggy was right. He should confess. He _should've_ confessed, all those ago when they were still young and didn't know what to do with their lives yet. Maybe they would even be high school sweethearts by now. Steve rolled his forehead around, contemplating what to do.

Thirty minutes went by before he shot up in his seat and started punching the buttons on his phone. He brought the receiver up to his ear and waited. His heart was pounding, and he could feel a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face.

After six rings, Steve almost decided to hang up when the line finally went through.

"Hello?"

Steve sat up straighter. "S-Sharon? Hey, it's… it's Steve."

"Steve! Hey, what are you calling so late at night for? Don't you head out tomorrow?"

He laughed nervously. "Yeah, I do. I didn't think you'd remember."

"_Remember?_ Please, it's all Peggy will talk about." She paused. "You know, Peggy may not show it but she really is going to miss you."

"I know. I'm going to miss her too. And you, of course," he added quickly.

Sharon laughed, her voice bouncing off the walls in the background. "Yeah Steve, me too."

They both laughed, giving Steve time to settle out his nerves. He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Um, Sharon? Listen, uh—"

"Hold on a minute Steve. _I'll be right there honey!"_

Honey?

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Oh, uh, nothing. Uh, sorry is this a bad time?"

"Oh no it's nothing, don't worry about it! I'm just with Brock that's all," Sharon said absentmindedly.

Brock Rumlow? Steve swallowed slowly. Brock Rumlow was a guy Sharon had dated on and off again in college. After a certain incident, Sharon had made sure to break things off completely with him once and for all.

"_That's just kind of guy Brock is. Commitment scares him,"_ Sharon had said at the time.

If that was the case, then what was she doing with _Brock Rumlow. _

"Brock uh… Brock kind of… proposed to me?" Sharon said uncertainly.

Steve blinked. Propose? Propose as in marry? Propose as in the ring, cake and bridal gown thing?

"The ring's actually pretty beautiful, now that I'm looking at it." Right, that kind of propose.

"T-that's great Sharon," Steve said in the best falsetto voice he could manage. "Really, that's.. wow. That's awesome. Congratulations. Wow."

"Yeah. Great huh? Anyways, Brock is calling me back. You were going to say something right?"

Steve was going to say something, until he heard 'propose' and his dreams practically shattered in front of his eyes. "Uhh, no, I was just… I was just gonna say bye. And I'll miss you! You know, Iraq and… everything."

"Aww Steve that's so sweet of you. I'll miss you too. Be safe out there, kay? And make sure to come back home in one piece. I know how reckless you can get sometimes."

"Right. Yeah, I will Sharon… take care of yourself."

"You too Steve." She hung up first.

Steve dropped the phone against his side, with his shoulders hunched and a blank look on his face. Sharon was getting married. Brock had proposed to her. He had _proposed_.

Steve brought the phone up again and dialed Peggy's number.

"Hey, Peg? You were right."

* * *

And now, approximately three years later, Steve was watching his _boyfriend_ hobble about the apartment. Steve figured since he was in the area, he might as well drop by Bucky's. Bucky hadn't expected it, despite it being a nice surprise and all. Now he was trying to frantically straighten up the place.

But honestly, Steve really didn't care. He just couldn't stand how cute his _boyfriend_ (he was never going to get used to the word) was as he tried to fluff up the couch pillows and throw his spare clothes into the bedroom. Steve had assured him that it was fine, really. But Bucky being Bucky, he couldn't help it. There was a goofy smile on Steve's face. He really just wanted to hug Bucky right now.

He jumped at the sudden vibration from his back pocket. He reached behind to grab his phone and saw Sharon's face appear on the screen. He almost did a double take. He looked up to find Bucky still weaving in and out of the apartment, giving him enough time to tiptoe quietly out the front door.

"Uh, hello? Sharon?" He answered once he was safely outside.

"Steve! Hey, long time no see," Sharon said easily.

"Uh, yeah, it really has. W-what's going on?"

Sharon paused before taking a faltering breath. "Um, well. Sorry this is going to sound so weird. But um. Brock and I we.. we're taking a little time off from each other. Just a small separation. Nothing too major or anything."

From what Peggy had told him, Sharon and Brock got married sometime around his second tour. He gathered the marriage was going well, but he hadn't contacted Sharon since coming home.

"Geez, Sharon I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Steve rubbed the back of his head. He didn't know how to really comfort her. Three years ago he was horrified at the idea of them getting married. And now…

"Yeah, I'm okay. We just figured it was for the best. We both want different things so.." Her voice trailed off.

"Wait, Sharon. Why are you calling me then?" He asked suddenly.

"_Excuse me_?"

"Uh, I mean! No, sorry that's not what it meant to sound like. I'm just, well, wouldn't you normally call Peggy? Or something..?" He really didn't mean for it to come out so harsh. It's just of all people, he didn't expect Sharon to call _him_.

"Actually, Peggy may have told me something a while ago that I've been juggling around for a bit now."

Uh-oh. That didn't sound good.

"She told me something about your undying love for me?" _Oh no._ "And that it's been going on since high school?"

Steve almost dropped his cell phone. "Er, really now! Did she.. ha-ha um. Well, no. That's not exactly.. wrong. Uh. Yes. I might have had a small crush on you. In high school. But um I'm kind of seeing someone? Right now? And it's pretty serious?"

"You are?" Sharon asked in surprise.

"Uh, yeah. His name is Bucky. He's actually a war veteran. Like me. So it, you know. Makes the process easier."

"Oh. Well that's great Steve! Good for you. I'm really glad you found someone. That's great. I'm happy for you." Was it just his imagination or did Sharon sound a little disappointed at that?

"Thanks. I'm—" He cleared his throat. "—_We're_ really happy."

"Good. That's good. Hey, listen I should probably be getting back now. Got a lotta work piling up. So, see you around maybe?" She asked hopefully.

"Yeah, maybe lunch or something."

"Sure. Bye Steve. Take care."

Steve had to lean against the wall while he sorted out his thoughts. What exactly had just happened? He took a breath and tried to compose himself before going back into the apartment.

He hadn't even gotten two feet in when he was assaulted in a bear hug.

Steve blinked down at the mess of brown hair. "Uh, Bucky?"

Bucky's arms only tightened in response.

"IwaseavesdroppingImsorrybutIwantedyoutoknowIloveyouandIappreciateyou," was the mess of jumbled words that came out against his chest. It took Steve a moment for him to separate the sentence out in his head.

"You were eavesdropping.. you're sorry.. but you love and appreciate me?" He said slowly.

Bucky turned his head up and bit his lip.

And this was why Steve loved him. He broke out into a smile and bent down to plant a kiss on Bucky's forehead.

"What was that for?" Bucky asked with very confused—yet cute—expression on his face.

"Nothing. Just wanted to show my love for you. And thank you."

Bucky couldn't help but blush and bury his face in Steve's chest.


	4. Trust & Patience

Summary: Steve learns to deal with patience.

* * *

"Nat, it's been a week," Clint whispered.

"I realize that, _honey._ But what exactly do you expect me to do?!" Natasha hissed through gritted teeth.

"Well I don't know! You're his best friend I barely even know the guy!" Clint hissed back.

Bucky had been holed up on their couch for almost a week, staring at the TV with a lifeless look in his eyes. Natasha winced at the sight of him. She remembered walking through the doors of the VA hospital, watching Bucky curled up on the marble floor shaking and gasping for breath. The other counselors tried to calm him down, but nothing seemed to work. It wasn't until James heard her voice that his breathing started to become more even. The VA counselors suggested she take him to the hospital, but once they got inside the car James immediately shook his head and curled in on himself. So the only thing Natasha could think of was to bring him here.

But he hadn't moved from his position on the couch except to grab food and take care of his daily needs. Natasha figured it was a just small thing, that he would get over it and be back on his feet in no time. Soon 2 days turned into 5 days which eventually turned into a whole week. Enough was enough. He needed to go back to his own life.

"James," Natasha called out softly as she carefully sat on the other end of the sofa.

He peeked an eye out from underneath his blankets.

"James," she tried again, "look it's… it's been a week. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but you really do need to go back to your own place. I'm sure Phil and Sam are worried about you."

Bucky only grunted in response.

"James. Come on, talk to me. You've barely said anything all week. Please?" Natasha pleaded. It really did hurt her heart to see him like this. When she witnessed her first panic attack, she was helpless. She didn't know what to do. Now she was pretty much an expert at coaxing him out of his induced state. She knew how to handle his bad days, and she was the only person he really trusted.

Bucky slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position, his hair sticking up in all sorts of weird angles. Natasha laughed a little and tried patting down his hair. "I think you need to go for a haircut soon," she murmured. Bucky hummed and rolled his head around, trying to get rid of the crick in his neck.

"Come on," she said as she stood up from the couch. She put out her hand.

* * *

"Is this Natasha? Natasha Romanoff?" Steve asked slowly into the phone.

"Yeah who's this?" Her voice echoed back.

"This is Steve? Steve Rogers?"

"Oh! That Steve! Steve the Subway Guy."

He still blushed at the nickname.

"So, Steve the Subway Guy, what can I do for you?"

"Um, it's Bucky," he said quietly.

Natasha's face immediately turned serious, all humor gone from her voice. "What's wrong with James?"

She heard Subway Guy suck in a breath. "He had a panic attack. But he's fine now though!" He quickly reassured. "But I don't know what I'm doing. I know I'm a war veteran and have also had my fair share but I don't… I don't know what to do when it comes to another person. I'm not good at this. And you're his best friend, so I thought maybe you'd know." He paused before adding, "I'm sorry. I'm really useless aren't I?"

"No, no you aren't," she sighed. "I only know what I'm doing because I've been with him longer. Trust me, the first time I witnessed it I couldn't even think straight. I had to call my own boyfriend because I thought _I_ was gonna have a panic attack."

Steve huffed a laugh at her attempt to joke.

"Seriously though, you aren't useless. It's going to take some getting used to. You of all people should know that."

"I know. But that still doesn't mean I know what I'm doing. I managed to calm him down, but he's just lying on his couch staring at the TV. He won't talk to me, no matter what I do."

"You need to be patient with him. Talk to him slowly, don't try to startle him. Just keep offering things and making small talk. It'll make him open up a bit more."

Steve nodded, jotting this all down. "Thank you, I—" He sucked in another breath "—Thank you."

"Sure, no problem. If anything comes up call me."

"I will, thank you again. Really."

Steve slowly put the phone on the counter and made his way over to the bundle that was Bucky.

"Hey, Bucky?"

No response.

"Do you want something to drink maybe? Like some tea? Or maybe coffee from downstairs?"

Still no response.

"I'll just make some tea then," Steve sighed in resignation. As he went to look for some teabags in the cupboards, an idea came to him. He closed to cupboard door and went into one of the bedrooms. All the while Bucky watched as he brought out blankets and pillows into the living room. When he was done, he put his hands on hips with a determined look on his face.

"Come on, get up," Steve commanded.

Bucky made a noise at the back of his throat and burrowed his head into his blankets.

He heard footsteps approach the couch, then pause. Suddenly the light was blinding him and he squinted up to find Steve holding back his blankets.

"HEY! Give those back ya punk!" Bucky made a grabbing motion while covering his face, but Steve only moved farther back. He had this triumphant smile on his face like he just won a prize. That prize being Bucky finally talking to him.

"Great, you're alive! Now get your butt up and help me with the rest of these blankets."

"Why?" Bucky groaned.

"Because we're going to make a fort," Steve explained like it was obvious.

"Why?"

"Because… it'll be fun."

"But why—"

Steve smacked his head. "Just help me, jerk."

Bucky growled but finally relented. It took them about an hour, but they finally finished. There were blankets draped over the couch and coffee table, criss-crossing each other in every way possible. They also moved the TV closer so it could act as another pillar. And there were pillows EVERYWHERE. They had also put Bucky's laptop inside so they could have a movie marathon together.

And Bucky had to admit, it actually looked pretty nice. He hadn't made a blanket fort since he and his sisters were kids. Steve came up next to him with two steaming cups of what smelled like chocolate.

"Hot cocoa," Bucky noticed, giving a pointed look at the mugs.

"I figured it fit the atmosphere better," Steve said as he handed one to Bucky.

Bucky sniffed and sighed at the warmth in his hands. He felt a soft jab at his side and scowled up at Steve.

"Are you gonna go in or what?" Steve jerked his head to the fort.

Bucky rolled his eyes and bent down, making his way inside.


	5. World's Greatest Babysitters

Author's note: Peter is actually Peter Parker. I thought it'd be a really cute idea, and there may be a continuation of this in the future *waggles eyebrows*

Summary: Bucky has a little bit of a situation. Luckily Steve is there to help him out.

* * *

Bucky sat on the couch, his hands folded and elbows resting on his knees. His sister, Rebecca, was sitting at the counter scrolling through her phone.

And all the while a little boy was scampering about his apartment. Bucky still didn't know how he had gotten in this situation. Rebecca just showed up at his front door that morning with a little boy in tow and a pleading look on her face. The little boy, Peter, was apparently his _nephew_. He didn't even know he had a nephew until now! Becca never brought it up, not once. Not when he came home from the war, and certainly not when they spoke on the phone just _three weeks ago_.

He had to remind himself to breathe.

He felt a tapping on his metal arm and looked to see Peter at his side. The kid was completely taken in by its shininess. Bucky couldn't help shifting uncomfortably under the boy's scrutiny.

On closer inspection he had brownish-hazelish eyes, and his hair was a mess of curls. He kept staring between Peter and his sister, noticing the same curvature of their noses and shape of their eyes. Bucky even tried to find features of his own in the three year old, but the only thing he could identify was their same hair color. He figured the kid resembled his father more… whoever that happened to be.

He heard Becca sigh and turn towards him. She still hadn't explained anything, and he figured she probably never would. His sister was secretive that way, always had been.

"Look, I know it's a lot to take in, but I have an emergency at the office. Normally I would call his usual babysitter or Mrs. Osborne but they're both busy. The only other person I could think of was you, James."

He flicked his gaze up to meet hers and held it for a while. "Beck, you know how I feel about kids. I can barely take care of myself. How am I supposed to watch a kid for a day?"

Becca looked at the ground and bit her lip.

"And come on, can't you hire another babysitter or something?"

"On such short notice you know I can't James."

"What about his father?" Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because all he got was a scowl from her. He felt a certain dread fill his chest when he asked, "Don't tell me you don't know who the father is."

"Of course I do! You don't think I'm that naïve do you?!" Becca asked angrily.

"Well I don't know Beck!" He yelled back. "You haven't even brought him up once! How do you expect me _not_ to come to that conclusion?!"

He suddenly heard a sniffling noise and a cough. They both turned to see Peter staring between the two of them with glassy eyes and snot dripping from his nose. Becca sighed and bent down to wipe his face.

"Please, James," she said while still cleaning up Peter, "You know I wouldn't do this if it wasn't important… And you were always so good with me when we were kids."

Dammit.

Bucky sighed in resignation and pinched the bridge of his nose. When she said it like that of course he couldn't refuse. "Alright, fine! I'll do it." Her eyes flicked back up and she smiled.

"But just this once, got it?" (It was more than once.)

She nodded her head seriously and got up to hug her brother. "Thank you James, thank you! Thank you sosososooso much!"

"Alright, alright," he laughed, patting her on the back. "Now go, you're gonna be late." She kissed him on the cheek and then kissed Peter on the head. "Mommy has to go now, but you're going to stay with Uncle Bucky for a while, okay?" She didn't wait for his response as she rushed out the door. "I'll be back around 6! Mommy loves you!" Once the door was shut the room was engulfed in silence.

Bucky heard a cough to his left and found Peter sitting next to him. He almost fell off the couch in surprise. Were all kids this… sneaky?

He noticed Peter was still mesmerized by his arm. Bucky gulped and slowly brought his it closer. "Wanna touch?" Peter furrowed his brows and nodded. He lightly dragged his hand across the metal, observing every bump and groove. Bucky had never done this before, never let anyone just touch the arm. Usually it was Tony, and lately Steve too. But that was about it.

After a while Bucky decided it was enough and knocked his knee against Peter's.

"You hungry?"

Peter scrunched up his face as if in deep thought. Then it went back to normal and he nodded his head.

"Okay then," Bucky murmured. He stood up, stretched, and went to the fridge to see if he had any suitable kids' food. He heard feet pattering behind him that stopped when he stopped.

"Alright let's see. There's some eggs, so maybe we could make an omelette. You like omelettes kid?" He turned his head back to face him. Peter tilted his head and squinted his eyes. Bucky raised his eyebrow. "How about sunny-side up?" Peter's eyes widened and he nodded his head jerkily. "Sunny-side up it is then." He took out the ingredients he needed and set them on the countertop.

When he got back from Afghanistan Bucky barely ate. Once he started to gain his sanity back, his appetite returned but not in full. It was better now, but before he could go hours without eating and still be okay. Nat always chastised him for being too skinny, but then Steve came into his life and he found himself wanting to cook and make meals for his boyfriend. Before Afghanistan and losing the arm, he was actually a pretty good cook. He would always watch his mom in the kitchen, and sometimes they would make stuff together. It took some time, but Bucky managed to find that spark again. He could cook a mean zucchini pasta, and he really liked to bake too. It was a good thing he had learned to cook, otherwise Peter would just be eating cereal or some leftover takeout from the night before. Which in no way was that nutritious.

As Bucky started preparing and whisking the eggs, Peter had climbed up onto one of the stools. Bucky peered up at him and found Peter staring right back. He returned to the whisking, then poured the eggs into the frying pan and watched as it turned colors. Peter stretched his neck out and wriggled around. If he kept that up Bucky was afraid he was going to fall off or something.

"You wanna come around?" Bucky asked gently. Peter looked at him for a second, then hopped off the stool and came around to Bucky's side. He only came up to his knee cap. Bucky smiled down at him and lifted him up. Peter made a sound between a laugh and a yelp, then his eyes turned to saucers as he got a better look at the eggs. Bucky really couldn't help laughing a bit at his expression.

He balanced him on his hip and used his left hand to fry the eggs. Peter was giggling and making happy noises the whole time. This actually wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

He scooped the finished eggs onto a plate and brought them both around to the other side.

"Here, eat up kid." Bucky set him down on the stool and presented him with a fork and spoon.

Peter nodded his head in approval and started eating, the only sounds coming from the clinking metal.

Maybe this really wouldn't be so bad after all.

At least that's what he thought when just 2 hours later, he was sitting on the kitchen floor rocking his knees back and forth. Peter was napping on the couch (apparently breakfast tired him out), and Bucky was starting to hyperventilate a little. Everything was going just fine. But then he came to the realization that he didn't know what he was doing. He's never handled a kid before, never needed to until now. He was literally just making this all up as he went along.

He tried calling Natasha's home, but of course no one was there to answer. He may have left at least 10 messages. And possibly 3 voicemails on Becca's phone. He rubbed his stubble and took some deep breaths. He could call Tony—

No. That was just. NO. But who else was there to call?

Then Steve came to mind. Steve, of course! Why hadn't he thought of that before?! Steve would know what to do! But he squashed the idea immediately. No, he couldn't call Steve. That was a horrible idea. Steve might not even like kids. Steve might detest them.

But then again it _was_ Steve. He wouldn't outright say no… right? Bucky groaned in frustration. Why did things always have to be so complicated for him?

Thirty minutes later he found himself standing next to Steve watching the little bundle on the couch.

When Bucky did finally call Steve, he basically dropped everything he was doing and rushed over as fast as he could. From what he had gathered, his sister Rebecca dumped her son that she never mentioned onto Bucky for the day and Bucky had absolutely no idea how to look after him. And honestly, Steve wasn't sure if he did either. He only had so little experience with kids, but he didn't mind them really. But this was a little different. This was _Bucky's nephew_. His _boyfriend's_ _nephew._ He was not going to screw this up.

"How long has he been asleep for?" Steve asked in a low voice.

"I don't know." Bucky rubbed the back of his neck. "Two hours maybe?"

Steve nodded. He was kind of cute. They watched Peter roll onto his side and suck his thumb, making the two men smile. Okay, he was more than just _kind of_ cute.

Bucky suddenly looked up at his boyfriend with a frantic look in his eyes. "Steve, I-I don't know what I'm doing. I shouldn't be looking after him. I know he's my nephew but I can't do this. I can't watch a kid I can't how in the world am I supposed to—"

Steve reached out and grabbed him into a hug. Bucky was shaking and clutching at him like he was about to sink into the floor.

He patted his head and rocked them back and forth until Bucky felt his own heart calm down. He grabbed a fistful of Steve's shirt and buried his head in the crook of Steve's neck, breathing in his boyfriend's scent. Steve's grip tightened around his waist.

"Hey, it's going to be okay. You're not in this alone. I'll be right here the whole time, okay? You can do this. Just breathe," Steve said soothingly. He rubbed Bucky's neck and ran his fingers through his mangled hair. He felt Bucky nod against him and pulled back. Steve gave a warm smile and pressed his lips against his forehead.

"Now come on, we've got some work to do."

* * *

Steve collapsed onto the couch, his head tilted back and eyes closed. He felt a dip in the couch next to him and something warm drop into his lap.

"Mhm, Bucky?"

Bucky grunted below him and sighed against Steve's leg. Needless to say the two men were exhausted.

Peter, on the other hand, was running around the room making _fwoom fwoom_ noises with his new toy plane.

The three of them spent the whole day out together going to the park, the toy store, getting ice cream, even taking the trolley. It was actually quite fun. But now all Steve and Bucky wanted to do was pass out right then and there.

"I can't feel my legs," Bucky's muffled voice came out. One arm was thrown over his face while the other dangled off the couch. Steve huffed a laugh and rested his hand in Bucky's hair.

Peter was still running in circles with his plane overhead him. When he caught sight of them on the couch he stopped. He carefully placed his plane on the coffee table and then ran over.

"GAH!" Bucky jerked up and started coughing. Having a three year old on your chest was a little constricting after all.

Peter lost himself in a fit of giggles, and even Steve couldn't help joining in.

"Not… funny…" Bucky wheezed, trying to catch his breath.

They heard a jingling noise coming from the door and an excited "Mama!" from Peter as he slipped off Bucky, shoving his foot in his face in the process. Bucky scowled after him while nursing his soon-to-be-bruised chin.

"There's my big boy," Rebecca cooed as she scooped her son up into her arms. She turned towards the couch to see Steve and Bucky sprawled out over it.

"You know when I got your three voicemails James, I thought something horrible happened," Rebecca said in an amused tone.

Bucky groaned against Steve's leg and waved her off. Steve chuckled and tried to stand up, but with Bucky's weight in his lap he was forced to sit back down again.

"Hi, Steve Rogers," he waved, "I would get up to greet you properly but I'm kind of stuck at the moment." He gestured to the mass on top of him.

"Rebecca Barnes," she smiled, "And don't worry, I wouldn't want you to throw my brother off the couch or anything."

Bucky peeked through his arm and gave her a withering look.

"So I take it everything went well?" She asked bouncing Peter on her hip.

"Yeah, your son's great. We had a lot of fun today right, Buck?" Steve asked.

"Mhmmmm," he drawled out.

Rebecca laughed. "Well, I can you two are thoroughly exhausted so I'm gonna make my way out now. Say goodbye to Uncle Steve and Uncle Bucky, Peter."

Peter smiled and waved at them. Steve waved back and elbowed Bucky to do the same, who rolled his eyes but waved back anyways.

"It was nice meeting you, Steve!" Rebecca called out before shutting the door behind her.

"You never told me you had a sister Buck," Steve said after a moment.

Bucky made a noise beneath him and sat up. "Well now you've met her," he yawned while stretching out his arms. "Oh, looks like Petey left his airplane," he noticed. He reached over to grab it and looked down at it fondly.

Steve smiled and watched as Bucky fiddled with the wings. "For someone who doesn't like children, you were quite good with 'Petey' today."

Bucky blushed upon realizing his use of the new nickname. "Yeah, well… you know…" He shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess… not _all_ kids are so bad."

He looked up at Steve for a second before leaning in and kissing him.

"Have I mentioned that I love for you?" Bucky breathed against his mouth.

Steve hummed and pecked him on the nose. "Yeah, maybe once or twice. But you're gonna have to refresh my memory." He took the plane out of his hands and placed it back on the table.

Bucky threw back his head and laughed, then dove in for a second kiss.


	6. Special Friend

Author's note: This is somewhere a little early on in their relationship.

Summary: Steve doesn't really know how to label his relationship with Bucky.

* * *

Steve sat back to observe his work. He liked the way the sunlight touched the newly painted coffee colored walls of the Starbucks. It made the place feel more homey, and he didn't want to toot his own horn but he'd gotten a lot of compliments on the new color. He was almost done painting with just a few white splotches left to cover, and then he would come back in two hours to do another coating. He sighed and wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Coffee?"

Steve looked down from his perch on the ladder to find one of the baristas—Phil was it?—holding a cup of iced coffee. He almost drooled at the sight of it.

"Thanks," Steve said as he stepped down to grab it. He placed his elbow on the ladder's steps and leaned against it. The coldness of the coffee sliding down his throat was quite refreshing. He hadn't realized he'd drank so much when he started make slurping noises against the ice.

Phil—he glanced at the name tag just to be sure—laughed. "I'll make sure to get another one."

Steve blushed a bit. "Sorry, a little thirsty as you can see. I'll pay for both of them once I'm done painting."

Phil waved him off. "Don't worry, it's on the house. You're our favorite customer's 'special friend' after all."

Now Steve really couldn't help blushing at that. Special friend? What exactly had Bucky been telling him?

Steve knew Bucky was a regular here and was on good terms with the owner (something about free coffee in exchange for odd jobs?). So naturally it was Bucky who told Phil about Steve's painting job. Before, the walls were a bland yellowish color that was so worn down it looked like someone threw up all over, so Steve was more than happy to repaint them.

Usually in his line of work, people were very picky about the color they wanted and what shade and sometimes they even told him how to do his own job. But the worst was when they felt the need to watch him as he painted. It was completely different when he met Phil, who just told him, "I don't know much about painting, so just choose a color that doesn't look like someone's barf and we'll call it a day." Phil even decided to pay him a little extra because was he Bucky's 'special friend.'

Again Steve blushed at that. They weren't exactly a couple or anything, but there was definitely something going on and the feeling was more than a little mutual. It was hard to describe their relationship. They weren't totally friends, but they weren't totally boyfriends either. So what were they?

"So how long have you and Bucky been together?" Phil asked. He took off his Starbucks cap to wipe his forehead. Even baristas had it tough.

Steve froze mid-drinking but recovered quickly. "Um, Bucky and I aren't exactly… well… 'together-together' if that makes sense." Did that make sense?

"Friends with benefits then?" Phil asked casually without so much as batting an eye.

"W-what?!" Steve spluttered out. He started choking on his coffee.

Phil gave an apologetic look and patted his back until the coughing went down.

"N-no," Steve breathed out shakily, "w-we're not like that. No, definitely not. We haven't even had—" His face went beet red. He was so not telling a Starbucks barista about his sex life.

"Oh?" Phil raised his eyebrow and twirled his cap around on his finger. "So not in it for the sex?"

Steve almost choked again. Oh god couldn't this conversation end already?

The barista nodded his head. "Have you told him you loved him?"

"Uh.."

"Guessing that's a no."

"We, er, haven't really gotten… to that stage yet? I mean I told him, well, I told him I would wait and uh, not rush it?" Steve rubbed his now red neck. He was really burning up right now.

Phil hummed thoughtfully and suddenly turned his head. Steve followed his direction and saw Bucky duck out from behind the counter. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and he was wearing a t-shirt with some sort of red, white and blue circle with a star in the middle and a pair of holey jeans. Steve couldn't help smiling at the sight of him.

He felt Phil pat him on the arm and winked.

"Bucky!" Phil called out. "Your special friend is here!"

Bucky stumbled into one of the chairs and glared at the barista. Steve almost doubled over laughing, which earned him a glare as well. Steve set his coffee on one of the steps and walked over to help him.

"Asshole," he heard Bucky mutter under his breath. He looked up and noticed Steve staring at him with a goofy smile on his face.

"Whaaaat?" He drawled out.

"Nothing." Steve just continued smiling, not caring if his cheeks were hurting. Bucky scowled and lightly punched him in the arm.

"You're embarrassing me."

"Good. Cause I am your 'special friend'".

Bucky groaned and covered his face with his hands. "Oh my god I said that _one time. _Please, don't ever use that phrasing again."

"I kinda like it," Steve said as he took Bucky's hand and kissed it. Bucky blushed and averted his gaze to the side.

"You're a little punk, did ya know that?"

Steve laughed and smacked a wet kiss onto his cheek.


	7. Part of the Family

Author's note: omg how long has it been since I last updated?! Now that school has started chapter updates may be more sporadic so I apologize in advance.

Summary: Steve meets the parents.

* * *

Bucky fidgeted in his seat, drumming his fingers along the table. He stretched out his collar and looked around nervously. He'd already gotten countless irritated glares from some customers, but he couldn't help it. He was anxious. He started tapping his foot impatiently.

"You look like you're on a caffeine high," Phil noted as he set down a cup of coffee in front of Bucky.

Bucky hummed in annoyance and tapped his foot faster. The whole table was shaking now, the coffee threatening to spill over.

Phil placed his hand on the table and pressed down. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Bucky answered too quickly. He took a large gulp of coffee. If the taste buds on his tongue were on fire he didn't notice. They were probably all singed off by now.

The door opened and in popped a familiar head of blonde.

Steve's eyes wandered until they landed on Bucky and he made his way over. Bucky stood up slowly, trying to mask the nervousness on his face. Phil smiled sympathetically and patted him on the back before returning behind the counter.

"Hey," Steve greeted as he kissed Bucky on the cheek.

Bucky tried to give his best smile but it turned out crooked and forced.

If Steve noticed he didn't say anything. If there was one thing he learned during this whole year with Bucky, it was patience. When he was ready to talk, he would talk. And Steve would be right here to listen as always.

Steve smiled and tried to ignore the suddenly very wobbly table. It seemed Bucky's feet were playing tap dance again.

"Listen, uh—" Bucky ran a shaky hand through his hair "—I was wondering. You know if you're up for it that is. Rebecca, who is like the most meddlesome person in the world, has been badgering me about being too distant. And like how I need to come home more. So she… with me… and possibly maybe… you too?"

There was silence for a while.

Until Steve burst out laughing and people started staring at their table. Even Phil looked questioningly at them. Bucky's face went from pale to beet red in an instant.

After a couple minutes Steve managed to calm down and ask, "Why don't you try that again?"

Bucky grunted and turned his head to the side. He was pouting a little.

Steve nudged his foot under the table to try to prod him out of it. "Okay, okay. I promise I won't laugh anymore. Scout's honor." He did the boyscout sign to prove it.

Bucky squinted his eyes suspiciously but refused to speak.

"Come ooooon," Steve pleaded, folding his hands. "Please?" Bucky rolled his eyes.

"Fine okay. You win." Steve smiled triumphantly.

Bucky huffed a small laugh and took a moment to sort out the words in his head. He wanted to actually sound like a coherent human being this time. "My sister, she… she wants me to come over for dinner at my parents' place tomorrow night."

"Oh," Steve said, a little confused. That didn't sound as drastic as he thought it would be.

"But with you." Steve blinked. "She wants me to bring… you…" Bucky's voice grew quiet towards the end. He balled up his hands on his knees and stared at the table.

"You want me to meet your parents?" Steve finally asked.

"Technically it was Rebecca's idea. I mean, yeah eventually I was going to.. introduce you to them but you know I didn't expect it to be so soon. Soon as in tomorrow night. And Becca's gonna be there, same with Petey. But I kind of wanted to do it on my own time. So like if you can't come that's fine. Kinda last minute, I know."

He saw Steve's hand reach under the table to grab his. "Bucky, I would love to meet your parents." He looked up at that. Steve had this loopy smile on his face and looked like he was about to kiss Bucky hundred times over. Not that he wouldn't mind. Just that they were, you know, out in public and people already thought they were weird.

Steve gave his hand a squeeze. "Seriously, I would love to meet them. You don't know how happy that makes me." Bucky felt his own mouth slowly curling up into a smile. He stood up and leaned over the table to kiss his wonderfully awesome and perfect boyfriend. When he pulled back Steve still had that loopy smile with the new addition of a light blush.

"You're awesome. And like, perfect on so many levels." Bucky blushed before adding, "And I love you."

Steve looked down in embarrassment before mumbling something along the lines of, "Love you too jerk."

* * *

_Well that went better than I expected, _Steve thought as he tried to scrub off a rather nasty stain on the plate. Everyone else was doing their own separate activities, with Bucky, Pete and Rebecca in the living room, Mr. Barnes reading his newspaper by the window, and Mrs. Barnes cleaning up the dining room table.

Dinner with the Barnes was actually pretty nice he had to admit.

Immediately upon entering Peter had run up and given the two men their own bear hugs (well tackle was more like it). Rebecca followed after, hugging and kissing them both on the cheek. Steve was received very warmly by Mr. and Mrs. Barnes ("Honestly, no need to be so formal!"), while Bucky was given a stern look and a "Why can't you come home more often?! Do you even care about your poor father and me?!"

Steve was all smiles and charm with Bucky's parents. They couldn't get enough of him, nor could they stop making hints of possible plans for the future with their son. Steve wouldn't stop blushing at that.

Overall, they really seemed to like him and Winnie was already planning a second dinner.

"_Ma, he hasn't even gotten through his first one yet," Bucky protested, scraping the beans on his plate to the side. Steve smiled. Bucky never did like beans. _

"_Nonsense! Surely Steve will be around for that long, won't you dear?" Winifred asked him hopefully. _

_Steve laughed nervously, the pink on his cheeks showing. "Well that's the idea, ma'am." _

"_Ma'am. Did you hear that George? He called me ma'am," Winifred directed to her husband. _

_Bucky raised his eyebrow at Steve, who just shrugged as if saying, "I didn't plan that." _

"_This one's quite a catch James," George winked to his son. "I hope you have the sense to keep him around at the very least."_

"_PA!" Bucky looked mortified now. Trust his parents to scare off a potential long-term boyfriend. _

"_Don't mind them. They're just excited James has actually managed to bring home husband material for once," Rebecca said to Steve through a mouthful of potatoes. _

"_OH MY GOD." Bucky covered his face with his hands. Traitor. They were all traitors. _

"_Rebecca dear, you're not six anymore. Eat with your mouth closed, please?" Winifred chastised. Rebecca rolled her eyes while Steve chuckled at the scene before him. _

"_Why can't I just have a normal family?" Bucky muttered into his hands._

"_Because normal is boring," Rebecca stated matter-of-factly. _

"_Rebecca, your mouth."_

_Bucky groaned and stood up from his seat. "I'm going to the bathroom. Please don't do anything to Steve while I'm gone." _

"_It's not like he's gonna run out of here screaming. Wait, wasn't that your last boy—"_

"_SHUT UP REBECCA."_

"Oh Steven, you really don't have to do that," Mrs. Barnes said as she brought more plates into the kitchen.

Steve waved her off and continued scrubbing. "Don't worry about it, Mrs. Barnes. I don't mind. It's the least I can do."

Bucky's mother smiled adoringly at him and patted him on the shoulder as she made her way past. "Steven, please, it's Winnie. I'll have none of this 'Mrs. Barnes' business."

"Alright then Winnie. Now would you do me the honor of just calling me 'Steve'?"

"Of course, _Steve_."

They smiled at each other and went back to work, Steve washing and Winnie drying the dishes.

"You'll have to excuse my children. For two grown adults they can be quite rowdy." She gave a pointed look to them in the next room over.

(Buckynearly threw his plate of leftover beans at her during dinner.)

Steve smiled down at the dishes.

"So how long have you two been together?"

"About a year I think," Steve replied nonchalantly.

Wait.

He paused and almost dropped the plate he was holding. A year. He and Bucky had been together for a year. He and Bucky had been dating. Kissing. Watching movies. Sex. For a _year_. Was it already that long?

Winifred smiled at the shock on his face. "I know honey. The realization just comes out of nowhere. Hits you like a ton of bricks."

Steve watched her carefully as she hummed and dried the remaining dishes.

"How did you know?" He asked.

She glanced up from her drying.

"I mean how did you know that your husband.. was going to be your husband?"

She looked at him thoughtfully before replying with, "Gut," and pointing to her stomach. Steve laughed and shook his head.

"No really honey. It's a gut feeling. You just know. When the time is right, your gut will be there to help you. It was for me," she said. Her eyes glanced behind her and she smiled at Mr. Barnes walking into the kitchen. He came up next to her and Winifred kissed him on the cheek. "See? That's the power of love." Mr. Barnes chuckled and hugged his wife around the waist.

Steve couldn't help feeling a little jealous of them. They were so in love with each other. His own parents had been like that at one point, a long time ago. He peered around the corner to see Bucky playing tickle monster with Peter and blowing raspberries onto his stomach. Steve's eyes crinkled at the corners and his heart warmed at the sight. He couldn't help staring at him. He was just so.. Bucky. And Steve loved Bucky. Probably would for a long time. That is if Bucky wanted him around that long.

Winifred chuckled and George winked at her.

"Steven it's alright. I can take it from here," George said as he sidled up next to Steve and took a plate. He smirked and jerked his head toward his son in the living room.

Steve blushed for being so noticeable and started to apologize, but then closed his mouth. He looked between the two of them before slowly setting down the unwashed plate and making his way over to his boyfriend. He tried not to seem too eager.

He could hear George and Winnie whispering behind him, but he ignored them.

Peter was giggling as Bucky tickled him all over. There was a huge smile plastered over Bucky' face as his fingers ran like spiders across Peter's stomach. Rebecca was smiling at them from her spot on one of the chairs.

Bucky glanced up and smiled at Steve. "Wanna help a fellow soldier out? I'm on a mission." He wiggled his fingers in the air. Peter laughed and made a grabbing motion for them.

Steve leaned over to ruffle Peter's hair. "Mind if I borrow your Uncle Bucky for a bit?"

"Kay!" Peter giggled. Bucky gave a questioning look but stood up from the couch anyways.

He followed Steve until they were outside on the front lawn. Steve sat down and motioned for Bucky to do the same. He heard a grunt and felt Bucky plop down beside him.

Steve sat cross-legged style and pulled at the grass. Bucky had his legs stretched out and was staring at the neighborhood enshrouded in darkness.

"I really missed this place," Bucky said. "It's actually kind of nice, being back in my old home. I'm glad you got to come with me." He looked at Steve as he said that.

Steve bit his lip and twirled the piece of grass in his hands. "Do you want to move in with me?"

Bucky started coughing violently, thrown off by the unexpected question. Steve quickly moved to rub his back and waited until the coughing died down.

"You're kidding?" Bucky choked out.

"Uh..." Steve didn't know how to respond to that.

"You want to move in with a nut case like me?"

"Bucky.." Steve gave him a pleading look.

"Steve. You know it's true."

"And because of that you don't want to move in with me?" He almost sounded hurt at that.

Bucky sighed and took Steve's hand. "No, of course I want to move in. With you," he added for emphasis. "But—"

"You're scared," Steve finished for him.

"Well, yeah. Aren't you?"

Steve thought for a moment. Honestly, he didn't know where the question had come from. It was just seeing Winifred and George and being reminded of his own parents and then seeing Bucky being adorable somehow brought up this… thing. He loved Bucky, and he wanted to be with him. Life without Bucky was like his life without art: meaningless. Maybe he thought moving in would seal the deal, bind them together for a little longer. And who knows. Maybe he would want to marry Bucky in the future. It could happen. Gay marriage wasn't exactly illegal anymore. But the question was did Bucky want this too?

"No, I'm not," Steve replied finally. He threaded his fingers through Bucky's. "Look, I love you. And I know you love me too, the feeling is definitely not one-sided. And if I love you then well, wouldn't it make it sense if I wanted to be with you?"

"But you are with me."

"Yeah I know that, jerk. I mean be with you. All the time. I mean waking up to see your sleepy face, arguing with you over who gets control of the TV, making breakfast and lunch and dinner together, having someone to come home to. I know we sorta do that now, but I want to do it every day. With you. Together in our own living space."

Steve took a shaky breath when he was done. He just poured out all of his entire feelings into that one speech. He looked at Bucky cautiously, searching for any signs of disgust.

He didn't expect tears to be streaming down Bucky's face though.

"B-Bucky? What—!"

He felt Bucky launch into him and wrap his arms tightly around his waist. Steve couldn't keep his balance for much longer and they ended up falling over together. Their legs were tangled and the grass was tickling sides of their faces.

Bucky burrowed his face into Steve's chest and breathed in deeply.

"Um, so, I take it that was a yes?" Steve asked uncertainly.

Bucky lifted his head and laughed, then pushed himself up so he was eye-to-eye with Steve. "Yes, yes, god a million times yes. _Yes_. I want to move in with you."

Steve was a dumbstruck at first, but he recovered quickly and kissed Bucky with such force their teeth were clacking together. But he didn't care. _Bucky was moving in with him._

Bucky tried to re-position their mouths so they were kissing properly. They moved their mouths together, tongues twisting and turning and brushing against each other. They stayed like that until Steve pulled back, albeit reluctantly. As much as he wanted to continue this, he didn't want the neighbors to get any weird ideas about them. When they broke for air, their cheeks flushed and panting a little, they stared at each other and laughed.

They were going to move in together. This was actually happening.

"I love you," Steve said.

"Eh, I guess the feeling's mutual." But Bucky was smiling so hard that his cheeks were hurting.

Steve laughed. "Jerk."

"Punk."

* * *

"What in the world are they doing out there?" Rebecca asked, pressing her nose against the glass.

"Oh leave them be," George said while smiling down at his newspaper.

"Yeah but they've been just lying on the front lawn for half an hour. Should I go get them?"

Winifred exchanged a knowing smile with her husband.

She made a mental note to call the wedding planner tomorrow.


	8. Just Shut Up

Summary: There's a bit of a slight misunderstanding. And Steve is afraid of doors.

* * *

"Do you wanna stay over tonight?"

Bucky almost falls over at the sound of those words. He has to steady himself on the bed so he doesn't bring the covers down with him.

Steve has half his face buried in the pillows, so all Bucky sees is one eye blinking expectantly back at him. He has to force his gaze down, hoping he can somehow avoid the question without actually answering.

"Bucky."

The tone of his voice makes Bucky look up a little. "It's okay if you don't want to. I'll understand."

He twists the corner of the sheets nervously in his hands. He wants to stay over. He does. But if he stays, then that might mean Steve will expect more from him. And Bucky is just in no way ready for that. Steve has been so patient with Bucky, and he's a saint for that really. He's never pressured him, not once. He always took things slow and never did anything Bucky didn't want. But staying over could change that. It could bring out a different side of Steve, and honestly Bucky is scared to discover that part of him. Because it's not that part he fell in love with, and is continuously falling in love with.

Bucky still hasn't answered yet so instead he drags himself out of bed and tries to locate his boxers. Along with the rest of his clothes that were strewn all over the place in their haste to get to the bed. The sex was pretty awesome, not gonna lie. He makes a mental note to rub it in Natasha's face later. He likes bragging about how his sex life is better than hers, which it clearly is (Clint can't help going red in the face).

But before he's fully out Steve's hand shoots forward and curls around Bucky's wrist.

"You still haven't answered yet."

"I—" He can't seem to get the words out. He doesn't know how. He bites his lip and tries to pull his arm back, but Steve is just a little bit stronger and doesn't seem to give up any time soon.

Steve's grasp tightens and suddenly Bucky is falling over and lands in the massive expanse that is Steve's chest. He's about to get up but feels a pair of arms wrapping securely around his waist.

"Steve," Bucky warns.

"Bucky." But Steve has this little smirk on his face and he's not buying Bucky's face of utter doom. "I'm not letting you go until you give me an answer." It's not even threatening the way he says it. He can tell it's just a joke, that Steve is just being his playful, adorable self and is in no way trying to force Bucky into anything. Of course not, why would he?

Bucky almost whimpers and tries to squirm out, but it's not use. Steve has always been stronger than him.

"S-Steve."

"Hmmm?" He hums lazily as he buries his nose in Bucky's hair.

"C-come on, Steve. I mean it." There's a rising hysteria in his voice. Panic starts to settle in, and his vision has become double now. He's feeling scared.

Steve must notice because his eyes widen and he quickly releases Bucky like he's something deadly. He sits up and pushes his back completely against the headboard, trying to get as far away from Bucky as possible.

Bucky is a little shocked too at Steve's reaction, but he doesn't say anything. They stare at each other for a while until Steve mumbles a rushed 'I think I'm gonna go out for a bit' and throws the covers off him. He picks up his clothes and hastily puts them on, then silently slips out the door. There's a jingling sound and Bucky is now alone in the empty apartment.

Bucky rolls back on his heels, trying to make sense of _what the fuck just happened_. This wasn't supposed to happen. None of this. They were supposed to hang out together in Steve's apartment watching movies and doing absolutely nothing. They were supposed to spend the rest of their afternoon having glorious, mind-blowing sex and then bask in the afterglow of it. It was supposed to be just a normal day. Not Bucky almost freaking out because Steve had asked him a question.

He bends forward on his knees and groans into the bed. What was wrong with him? Well, obviously a lot of things but clearly he already knew that. He rolls over onto his back and sits up. He spots his phone on the bedside table and grabs it. He quickly dials Nat's number.

"So how's the sex going?" Is the first thing she says when the line gets through.

Bucky's about to respond with some snappy comeback but then remembers his reason for calling her in the first place.

"Nat, I screwed up."

"Well that's not a first," she snorts.

"Nat. I'm serious."

"And I'm serious too. So what'd you do this time?"

"…Why do you make it sound like I'm constantly—"

"Because you are. Especially now that you've got this thing with Steve."

"It's not a _thing_ it's—"

"James, just tell me what happened," she says exasperatedly.

"…"

* * *

Steve has been standing outside his apartment door for approximately twenty minutes. He doesn't want to go in. Especially not after that whole fiasco. What was he thinking? He knew not to push Bucky. He knew better than that, and yet he still did it.

He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. He didn't mean to get too ahead of himself and rush things, but he really _really_ wanted Bucky to stay the night. Holding him captive and giving him a mini heart attack probably wasn't the best way to go about it though.

He still can't bring himself to open the door. It's too ominous looking, and he's afraid of what he's going to find when he opens it. His hand is in a constant tug-of-war over whether it should twist the knob or not. He finally sighs in resignation and takes out his cell phone. He's so terrified that it has to come to this now. He puts it up to his ear and waits.

"Hello?"

"Bucky?"

He hears a yelp on the other line and some kind of banging noise. "…Steve?" Bucky asks hesitantly.

"This is him. What was that—"

"I dropped my phone," he answers quickly.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

There's an awkward silence.

"Um, Bucky, this is going to sound really weird but… I'm kind of.. outside? Like outside the door?" Steve looks around as if he's trying to avoid being seen by some unknown presence.

Another pause.

"You're serious?"

"Look I didn't—"

"Are you serious? Are you for real right now?"

"Uhhhhh."

"_Oh my god_," Bucky mutters. Steve hears some kind of pattering noise in the background and a sudden shaft of light makes him squint his eyes.

Bucky is standing in the doorway holding his cell phone to his ear. He's staring at Steve like he wants to laugh but he can tell Bucky is trying to keep his composure.

"Hi," Bucky's voice echoes. "So you wanna come in now or what?"

Steve winces and presses the end button. He's about to give a million apologies and reasons as to why he was so wrong before when Bucky grabs his shirt and pulls him into a tight embrace.

"Just shut up and let me hug you," Bucky says before Steve can get a word out.

Steve has no choice but to give in and reciprocates the hug. He settles his head in the crook of Bucky's neck and puts one hand on his waist and the other resting on his forearm.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Steve rubs his hand up and down Bucky's side.

"For, as Natasha quotes, 'being a pussy who doesn't know how to speak his feelings and has no fucking proper social skills.'"

The rubbing falters for a moment but continues. "Really now, did she?" Steve asks in an amused tone.

"Yeah. She couldn't help emphasizing on multiple occasions what a huge pussy I am."

"I see." Steve pulls back to get a look at Bucky's face. "She also should have told you what a huge push over I am and probably the worst boyfriend in the world."

"I think I've got you beat on that."

"Really? You sure about that?"

"Pretty sure. You're like a close second I think."

Bucky looks all smug but his mouth quirks up. It keeps quivering uncontrollably until he breaks out into a huge grin and ends up bursting out laughing. Steve can't help it and soon enough he's joining in too. They're falling all over each other, completely out of breath with tears in their eyes.

Bucky clutches at his stomach and tries to take some calming breaths. "We're a bunch of idiots."

"Yeah," Steve breathes out, "We really are."

They smile shyly at each other.

"By the way, I never got to answer your question."

Steve has to think for a moment before he grimaces at the memory. "Oh, no Buck please you don't—"

"No, but I _do_. I want to stay the night. I do, seriously. You aren't forcing me or anything. It was gonna happen eventually, right?"

"I mean, yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean it has to be tonight or anything," Steve quickly reassures. He doesn't want to get his hopes up.

"Steve," Bucky simply says.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want me to stay or not?"

"…Yes."

"Then just shut up and let me stay."

Steve obeys and doesn't utter another word about it.


	9. An Experimental Direction

Summary: Bucky experiments with texting.

* * *

"So? Which one do you like? Take your pick, seriously. Any one of them."

"Tony."

Bucky gives him a painful look, like choosing a new cell phone is just that horrible.

"Seriously, you have to choose. You've been avoiding this for too long. I'm not leaving until you choose." Tony adjusts his sunglasses and plays with his cufflinks. Why is he even wearing sunglasses? They're inside. And that suit just makes him look like some stupid playboy philanthropist. Oh wait, he is.

Bucky sighs and gives a cursory glance at the phones laid out before him. They're all these fancy, huge-ass smart phones with screens that could probably break with just a touch of his prosthetic. He really doesn't need one. There is nothing wrong with having a flip phone. They're more sturdy, less likely to break, and he doesn't even really use it.

He sighs again and looks up at Tony. "Do I have to do this?"

"Yes, you do."

"But what's wrong with my phone now?" He takes out his current phone and flips it open.

"It's old, it's outdated, and it's time for a change," Tony states matter-of-factly.

"And what if I like it that way?"

Tony thinks about this before saying, "Think of it as an intervention, a new direction in your life," with a flourish of his hand.

Bucky just blinks and stares. For some reason he can't help thinking this is some kind of metaphor for his directionless life at the moment. It's not like he's depressed or moping about his apartment or anything. But then again it's not like he does much with his time either. Yesterday he spent four hours on Netflix. He does have a semi-life though. He has a sort of part time job that doesn't require a lot of human interaction. He's got some close friends, even if it's just a few. With the new addition of Steve of course.

He blushes and hopes to god Tony doesn't notice. He can't help it, he's already head over heels for the guy. Really, it's because of Steve that he's able to go out like a somewhat normal person and not freak out over every single little thing. He wants to try, he wants to be better. And Steve makes him want to do that.

If choosing a new phone is the next step then so be it.

Bucky gives a final sigh and picks up the closest smart phone to him.

"Ah, a wise choice oh great one."

"_Shut up_, Tony."

If Bucky's going to try this 'new direction' thing out, he's going to start with not fueling up Tony's ego.

He turns the phone over in his hands. It isn't too big so it can actually fit in his pocket. The screen looks durable enough, but that depends on how often he'll drop it or accidentally leave it with his jeans in the washer.

"Samsung is always a good choice. Not like one of those generic iPhones. Horrible durability. They shatter so easily. I had to force Rhodey to switch to switch over to Samsung. Anything but an iPhone and what are you doing don't hold it like that are you kidding me you're going to drop it. Here lemme just—" Tony makes a grabbing motion for the phone.

Bucky directs a threatening glare at Tony who backs off slightly. He knows how to use a phone thank you very much. He's not completely helpless when it comes to this techno-shit.

He swipes the screen across and watches as it brings up the home menu. Okay, he has to admit it is pretty cool. He touches a couple buttons here and there and watches the images with deep fascination.

He feels Tony nudge his side with a smug look on his face. "Told ya, an intervention."

Bucky rolls his eyes and returns to his new phone. "So how much is the contract and stuff? I gather it's pretty expensive right?" He says to the phone.

"Nah, don't worry about it. I've got it covered," Tony says casually.

Bucky looks up and squints his eyes. "It's not like I don't own a bank account or anything."

"I never said you did. But I'm the one who bought all these phones. Therefore everything is covered."

"So I don't have to pay?" Bucky asks slowly.

"Nope." Tony pops the 'p' at the end.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously."

He continues to stare at the billionaire. His face is unreadable, especially with the sunglasses which just adds to the whole poker face thing going on. Sometimes he can't figure out Tony. He can be a bit of an ass sometimes and talks a mile a minute about things Bucky will never understand. But then he'll do nice things like this and Bucky just doesn't get it. Pepper always said he was a genuinely nice person but didn't like to show it.

He shakes his head and returns to his phone. "I'll send you the check later."

He expects Tony to protest but all he gets is a shrug. "Sure, fine. More pocket money for me."

* * *

This is bad. His phone has already become an addiction and it's only been three days. He can't stop playing and experimenting around with it. He's downloaded about fifty new apps, most of which are games and things like Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest. He doesn't even have a Pinterest but he's about to find out.

And then there's the texting. He can actually send _emojis_ now. His old flip phone couldn't even do that. And it's not the ones where you make them from certain symbols. It's like _actual emojis. _He and Natasha communicate through the language of emojis now. Clint gets in on it sometimes, and Sam is just getting plain annoyed with it.

From: Bucky [2:30 pm]

(¬‿¬)

From: Sam [2:32 pm]

stop sending me those goddamn faces

But here's the best part: he can text Steve now. Sure he could text Steve before, but he was also using a prepaid phone meaning he only had so many texts. Now he's got an unlimited plan (courtesy of Tony) and he feels the urge to call and text him every minute of every day. But he's pretty sure Steve will get annoyed if he does that. Steve may be great and all, but there's only so much he can handle. He's human too.

Although Bucky may or may not have given him his new cell number.

His thumb pauses above the screen. It's not like he just purposely decided not give it to Steve. He's certainly capable of doing it. It's just a bit.. intimidating. It's like something is holding Bucky back, but he's not sure what exactly.

How does he even go about this? The normal thing to do would probably be to text him saying 'Hey, this is Bucky!' But of course Bucky decides to complicate things and he's thinking of all these different scenarios of how to give Steve his new number. More than half of them are just absolutely ridiculous.

So instead of being a normal human being he settles for showing up at Steve's apartment the next day all fidgety and nervous.

"Hi," Steve blinks in surprise. He puts on a warm smile. "Sorry, if I had known you were coming over I would have cleaned up a bit." He glances down sheepishly at his paint-splattered shirt.

Calling first might have been more sensible.

Bucky tucks a stray hair behind his ear. "Uh, so, I got a new number?" He wants to physically hit himself with a baseball bat.

Luckily Steve doesn't think twice of his horrible social skills. His eyebrows rise up in a comical way and he tilts his head to the side. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. So um. Yeah…" Bucky groans internally. He can't talk today.

Steve's mouth quirks up and he's trying so hard not to laugh. He can tell Bucky's trying. He coughs. "It's a shame though. I only have your old one, so it might be harder to contact you."

Bucky doesn't seem to get the hint and just keeps talking in broken sentences. "Oh, er, yeah, it might be. Real shame. Yeah."

After a moment Steve huffs out a laugh. "Buck. That means I would like your new number."

It takes him about a minute but he gets it. "Oh! Number, right. Yeah. Uh, yeah hold on." He fumbles with his phone but manages not to drop it. He swipes up with a shaky finger and fires off a quick text.

Steve's phone buzzes a minute later and he smiles at the number popping up on the screen. Once he's got it saved in his phone he looks back up and is still smiling.

"What?"

"Nothing," Steve shrugs, "Just kinda happy right now."

"O-oh okay. So I'll—uh, text you? Later?" Bucky asks hopefully.

If anything Steve's smile only grows bigger. "Can't wait then."

Bucky doesn't even wait till he gets home. Once he's stepped foot outside the building he whips out his phone.

From: Bucky [1:45 pm]

hey there. is this ltr now?

(He prides himself on his use of the new texting lingo.)

When he doesn't get a reply right away he starts panicking. Was it too soon? Is he bothering Steve? He did look busy when he came to the door. Oh god what if Steve is ignoring him. It was too soon. Definitely too soon. He sounds like some needy—

_Bzzt bzzt._

Bucky flicks the screen open at lightning speed.

From: Steve [1:50 pm]

i think this is def later

Bucky stares at the text. The phone buzzes again and he almost drops it in surprise.

From: Steve [1:52 pm]

ᕙ(`▽´)ᕗ

He stares. Oh my god. Steve sent him an emoji. A freakin emoji. Bucky shouldn't be this happy, but he is. He's excited in fact.

From: Bucky [1:54 pm]

\(• ◡•)/

He clicks his phone shut and he can't help smiling the whole way home.

Now that he knows Steve isn't annoyed by it and is actually enjoy this as much as Bucky, he can't help texting him five bajillion times a day.

From: Bucky [4:00 pm]

im bored ಠ_ಠ

From: Steve [4:01 pm]

already? /˚,˚\

From: Bucky [4:02 pm]

⁀⊙﹏⊙⁀

From: Steve [4:03 pm]

thats a weird one ૅ.ે

From: Bucky [4:03 pm]

can i change ur contact name on my phone?

Steve doesn't reply for a while and Bucky is afraid he's messed up again. It was just an idea. It wasn't exactly supposed to be insulting, but he's bored and he seriously has nothing to do. He stares down anxiously at his phone until a new message pops in.

From: Steve [4:08 pm]

as long as i get to change yours

He can feel his heart beat calming down. He really does suck at social cues.

From: Bucky [4:09 pm]

and wut would u change mine 2?

From: Steve [4:09 pm]

if I tell you will you get mad?

From: Bucky [4:10 pm]

noooo of course not

As an afterthought he sends another text.

From: Bucky [4:12 pm]

Y is it that bad

Again Steve doesn't reply right away and Bucky is left thinking of the worst possible scenarios. When he finally does message him back Bucky just kind of stares at his phone.

From: Steve [4:19 pm]

…i was thinking Bucky Bear?

What. Just what.

It's not like he's mad, just… confused. Does he remind Steve of some kind of teddy bear? Is that even a thing? How does he even respond to this.

From: Steve [4:20 pm]

sorry that was weird wasnt it?

Bucky can't help smiling fondly. Somehow this is just so Steve. How long must it have taken him to work up his courage to ask that? He decides to indulge him a little.

From: Bucky [4:21 pm]

show any1 that on ur phone and i will personally come after u myself ᕙ(｀皿´)╯

From: Steve [4:21 pm]

so i take it thats a yes then?

From: Bucky Bear [4:22 pm]

im changing u 2 Punk Rogers

From: Punk Rogers [4:23 pm]

what?! but i wanted something cuter.. (╥﹏╥)

"Oh my god," Bucky mutters to himself. Why does Steve have to be so Steve?

From: Bucky Bear [4:23 pm]

i think it fits u PERFECTLY (─‿‿─)

From: Punk Rogers [4:24 pm]

┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`▭´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

He furrows his brows. He hasn't seen this one before.

From: Bucky Bear [4:24 pm]

wut in the world is that supposed to be

From: Punk Rogers [4:25 pm]

its a person flipping over a table! cute right?

_Oh. My. God_. That's it. He's so done for.

From: Bucky Bear [4:26 pm]

ur adorable. did u know that

From: Punk Rogers [4:26 pm]

(っ◕‿◕)っ ❤

Now Bucky is really confused. Is that supposed to mean Steve loves him? But Steve wouldn't tell him that across a text. He's the type of person who would rather say something that important face-to-face. Maybe Bucky is just looking too into it (as usual). He's flailing about and doesn't know how to respond, so he just settles for this:

From: Bucky Bear [4:28 pm]

유❤유

He locks his phone and buries his head in his arms to hide his growing blush.


	10. No Such Thing

Author's note: I've realized like the last two chapters involve Steve, Bucky and doors. So I apologize for this new chapter.

Summary: Bucky makes a surprising discovery and is completely baffled by it.

* * *

Bucky leans against the wall next to the door and checks his watch. When he doesn't hear anything he knocks again.

"_Coming!"_ The voice yells.

One minute later a very _very_ disheveled Steve comes to the door. Bucky smirks at his appearance. His blonde hair is a little ruffled, he's got his usual paint-splattered shirt and sweatpants—

And holy shit is Steve wearing glasses?

Bucky's eyes bug out and he has to blink a few times to make sure this is actually Steve and not some other hot blonde dude who looks exactly like him.

"Hey, sorry Bucky," Steve breathes out. "I uh, as you can see I'm not really, uh, ready." He rubs his now-red neck as he eyes Bucky's more formal looking outfit. Bucky didn't really get all _that _dressed up. Today just happened to be one of his better days, and he feels pretty fucking great if anyone dares to ask. He decided to wear a light gray v-neck with a pair of black skinny jeans and vans. The jeans make his ass look fantastic. And no he was not trying to seduce Steve or anything (maybe). He just hoped that Steve might possibly stare at his ass the whole day and decide to fuck Bucky up against the wall later, that's all.

But damn. Steve. Wearing glasses. This really is a sight to behold.

Bucky leans in closer and squints his eyes to see _Ray-Bans_ scribbled along the side. Steve is wearing Ray-Bans. He's wearing hipster glasses.

Bucky bites his lip and can't help feeling the need to tease him. "I like the glasses Stevie. New look?"

Steve furrows his brow and reaches up to touch his eyes. When his fingers make contact with the frames his face goes completely red that Bucky is so sure he needs medical attention.

"Stevie?" Bucky tries hold back a laugh at the man's automatic response. His grin grows wider and he presses the back of his hand against Steve's forehead. He has to stand on his tip-toes if he actually wants to reach the guy. "You okay? You look like you're breakin a sweat or somethin."

Steve's face actually goes redder and he steps back, leaving Bucky's hand to hang in the air. He immediately takes the glasses off and casts his eyes down.

"I didn't know you wore glasses," Bucky says. He's trying not to tease, really.

"Uh, yeah," Steve says embarrassingly. "You know just, every once in a while. Uh, I'm gonna go—change. Yeah. Change. I'll…be right back." He spins around and shuts the door quietly, leaving Bucky out in the hallway.

When he knows Steve is out of earshot and his footsteps have retreated, Bucky breaks out laughing. Steve is so fucking endearing that it's hard not to poke fun at him. Steve emerges ten minutes later with his still ruffled blonde hair and non-paint splattered clothes, but this time no glasses. Bucky hopes the disappointment isn't showing on his face.

Steve's blush has died down considerably but there are still traces of red along his cheeks.

Bucky smiles and brushes his hand against the lingering flush on Steve's face. The blush comes back full force and Steve looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

Bucky pokes his cheek. "Ready?"

Steve gives him a shy look. He quickly reaches for Bucky's hand without a second thought and turns to the side. "Yeah, yeah I'm ready," he mumbles. There's some red creeping up his neck now.

Bucky purses his lips to stop from laughing then reaches up to kiss Steve's neck. "Me too," he mumbles against Steve's skin.

There should really be a limit to how red a person can become.

* * *

"He wears glasses?"

"He wears glasses."

Natasha holds her cup of tea and stares at Bucky like he just told her the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe or something.

"Steve Rogers. Subway Guy. Wears glasses," Natasha repeats slowly.

"I know. Crazy right?" Bucky says in a tone of amazement.

They've been at this for the past thirty minutes.

After their little date Bucky had immediately gone to Nat's place the next day to discuss this new development in his life. To any _normal _person (and by normal he means not a one-armed hobo), someone wearing glasses wasn't that big of a deal. It wasn't unusual, not everyone had 20/20 vision. But this was Steve. And they weren't just any old pair of glasses. They were freakin hipster glasses. Bucky doesn't know why he's so amazed by this. But it's Steve, and everything that has to do with Steve makes his heart do weird things and blush from head to toe.

He is such a fucking teenage boy. But he can't help it. Steve is adorable and Bucky loves him for that. He loves Steve even more when he's wearing those stupid hipster glasses.

"I didn't even know he wore contacts," Natasha mutters into her drink.

"Yeah, me neither." Actually, now that Bucky thinks about it Steve never told him about it. He never mentioned it, and he's never worn glasses in Bucky's presence before. Strange.

"Maybe he's embarrassed. Didn't you say Steve used to be a pretty skinny kid?" Natasha asks.

"Yeah, and a lotta health problems too," Bucky replies as circles his thumb around the rim of his mug.

Steve showed him pictures of his skinny self before, but it was just one time and he had immediately shut the photo album afterwards. Bucky's noticed that Steve doesn't like to talk too much about his childhood. He knows how Steve was bullied around, was always self-conscious about his looks and numerous deficiencies. And then when he got older he started working out and finally buffed up a little. He out-grew his asthma and could actually do things without breaking a sweat and breathing like his life depended on it. It's hard to imagine a skinny Steve sometimes, because he really has changed that much throughout the years.

He didn't mention vision as one of his health problems, but Bucky wouldn't be surprised. At the time Steve had made it sound like he was lacking in almost every category.

Bucky almost drops his mug and his eyes widen. Shit. What has he done?

Steve has never been one to talk about his insecurities. He usually avoids them or doesn't bring them up at all. And of course Bucky had to ruin everything and point them out. Wow he is such an ass. He is probably the worst boyfriend ever to walk the face of the earth.

His hands start trembling and he tightens his grip around the mug.

"James?" Natasha asks worriedly. She sets her drink down on the coffee table and gently touches his arm. "Are you okay? Are you—is it another..?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," Bucky finally breathes out. "I just… I gotta go. I need—I need to see Steve."

He quickly scrambles off the couch and stumbles his way to the front door, shakily grabbing his stuff along the way.

"James?" Natasha calls out again, but he's already shut the door behind him and is racing out of the building.

When he's finally reached Steve's place he's got his hands on his knees and is panting like crazy. He raises his fist to knock on the door.

"Bucky?"

He turns his head around at the sound of his name.

Steve is standing behind him holding a bag of groceries against his hip. His head is tilted to the side with his brow scrunched up. He looks worried.

"Steve," Bucky croaks out. He's pretty parched from the run. Natasha and Clint don't exactly live a block down from Steve.

"What's wrong? Why are you so out of breath?" Steve steps forward and carefully places his groceries on the floor. His eyes follow Bucky the whole time.

What does he even say? 'I'm sorry I'm such an asshole boyfriend and will never make fun of your insecurities again'?

Bucky straightens up and gulps nervously. "I-I'm sorry."

"For what?" Steve asks.

"I—you… you wear glasses." He sees Steve tense up a little. "I shouldn't have.. you.. I know you hate your old self. What with all of your health problems and the bullying and… I shouldn't have teased you. I wasn't trying to make fun of you, really."

He hesitantly steps closer and his eyes dart all over the expanse of Steve's chest. "I don't mind the glasses. I really like them actually. I thought…I thought you looked good in them. Cute even. But the jokes were uncalled for. I…" He spreads his hand over Steve's chest and looks up.

Steve doesn't even look remotely upset. Bucky can't tell what he's thinking in fact, but it's definitely not anger. He drops his against Steve and breathes a sigh.

"Please, say something. If you don't say something I'm gonna think you hate me. I can't pick up a social cue for my fucking life."

After a moment Steve finally whispers a sad, "Oh, Buck," and drops his head onto Bucky's. "You know I could never hate you, no matter what you do."

"Really? You mean that?" Comes Bucky's muffled voice.

"I mean of course I'll get upset from time to time, but I won't hate you." Steve gives a crooked smile and takes both of Bucky's hands in his.

"So you're not mad at me then?" Bucky asks as he lifts his head up.

"It's not like I was mad in the first place. I knew the affection was there. I was just… you know." Steve grimaces and looks at Bucky helplessly.

"I know. Trust me, I know." Steve doesn't outright say it, but he knows. He gets the message. Bucky bites his lip and swings their arms back and forth. "I am sorry. I promise I won't do it again."

"Buck, you don't have to promise me anything, seriously. I know you're not an awful person."

"But I _can_ be an asshole sometimes," Bucky mutters.

"That's fine. We're not all perfect."

"…It's possible I'll end up teasing you some more."

Steve throws his head back and laughs. "And didn't I say its fine? I didn't fall in love with you just for anything after all." He bends down to peck Bucky on the lips.

Bucky finally gives in and rolls his eyes. "Why ya gotta blow all my worries away?"

Steve laughs again and leans his forehead against Bucky's. "Because I really do love you."

Bucky clucks his tongue and plants a kiss on Steve's chin. "You should wear your glasses more often though."

"_Bucky_."

"Steve." There's a mischievous glint in his eyes. "It's hot. You and hipster glasses go really well together."

Steve groans. "Actually, scratch that. I hate you."

"And I fucking love you too," Bucky says smugly. As an afterthought he says, "The glasses would make for great foreplay though. Like student-teacher foreplay if you know what I mean." He waggles his eyebrows.

Steve shakes his head and pushes Bucky inside the apartment. "Just get in you loser."

Bucky laughs the whole way inside. Steve may be embarrassed, but he does consider the student-teacher foreplay for another time.


	11. Fear is of the Mind

Summary: This time Bucky has to do what Steve has always done for him.

* * *

Most people would think his greatest trauma was the whole 'losing-the-arm' thing. Well technically it is, but he's left out a very important, very crucial detail to this whole story.

Yes, Bucky's team did walk into an IED causing the death of several of his men plus the sacrifice of his own arm. He just forgot to mention that the IED was on top of a building… and he may or may not have fallen off said building and almost lose his right arm in the process.

Losing the arm was pretty horrific and all (still is), but he's got quite a big fear of heights now too. He has some slight acrophobia and might even be diagnosed with vertigo as well. Not that he got himself checked out or anything. He's never told anyone either, but he has had a few close calls. Sam has tried to convince him to go on more roller-coasters than he can count, but Bucky always waved him off with a "You go on ahead, I'll stay down here. Roller-coasters give me the creeps." Sam would stare at him for a while but eventually shrug and say, "Your call man. You don't know what you're missing out on."

At one point Nat and Clint decided to take a trip to Australia. But when Bucky heard about the cliff-jumping he immediately backed out and ended up missing it altogether. He didn't mind, not really. But he would have liked to go. His fear of heights has made him miss a lot of great opportunities, but his reluctance to actually seek professional help plays a major part of it too. He events get nervous when he plays video games!

He's kept it a secret for so long, so it really doesn't come as much of a surprise when Sam finds out after a session of Call of Duty. Surprisingly, Bucky doesn't actually mind the shooting games. Sure he still jumps at the sound of a toaster oven or the continuous clicking of a fan, but shooting games give him a sort of adrenaline rush. It's messed up, he knows.

It's a Saturday night, and both men are bored as hell. So it turned into a Guy's Night with endless amounts of video games, pizza, and beer. They're playing Call of Duty, and their mission is to rescue the hostages. While Sam is trying to get the hostages out of the building, Bucky is chasing the enemy across the building tops. He doesn't think much of it, it's just a game after all. His tongue is stuck out in concentration as he tries to chase the guy down. But his thumb slips and presses the wrong button. He curses as his character lags behind and watches the enemy slice his guy to pieces. Bucky tries to fight him off, but in one slick move his character his thrown over the building's edge and blood splatters over his screen.

"Dude!" Sam yells as his eyes dart between his screen and Bucky's. "You just let the enemy get away!"

He's too focused on his end of the game that he doesn't notice Bucky's labored breathing. He starts hunching over with his metal hand clutching at his shirt. It's too tight, and the collar is strangling him despite it being a lose t-shirt.

"Hey man, are you okay?" Sam asks worriedly. He quickly sets the game controller down and kneels beside Bucky.

"Come on man, just breathe. In, out, in, out. There you go, you got it."

Bucky breathes as Sam instructs and keeps at it until his heart is beating normally again and his body has managed to calm down. He's dripping sweat and feels like he could collapse at any second from the exhaustion.

"Sorry," he gasps out. "I… I don't know what came over me."

"That's fine. These things happen, sometimes for no reason. You're okay now though, everything's fine," he says reassuringly. He thinks Sam mutters a "Maybe Call of Duty wasn't such a good idea after all."

Bucky swallows thickly and shakes his head. "No, it's—it's okay. The game, i-it's fine. But _this—_" He gestures to himself "—is not okay. I can't keep doing this."

Sam stares at him intently. "James," he says slowly, "what do you mean by 'this'?"

"I have a fear of heights," Bucky blurts out. He squeezes his eyes shut and waits for the laughter and the teasing to come. He can feel his face and neck heat up in shame at those words.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up carefully at Sam. There's no trace of mockery or pity in his face.

"Dude, you've got nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our demons," he says understandingly. He smiles a little and squeezes Bucky's shoulder.

And that's all it takes for Bucky to break down with Sam rubbing his back in small circles. Its reasons like this that Bucky is grateful to have someone like Sam around in his life.

* * *

That's why it takes Bucky by surprise when Steve is dripping wet with a stock-stilled look on his face. He won't meet Bucky's gaze, and if possible he tries to shrink in on himself.

Rebecca had invited Bucky and a bunch of his friends to a fair held by Peter's school. Peter was running around somewhere with Rebecca chasing him down. Nat and Clint had gone off to do their own thing (Bucky was too scared to ask), while Sam had mentioned something about a kissing booth. Bucky got a text 10 minutes later with 'SCORE' written across the screen. Steve and Bucky decided to settle for roaming the fair grounds, hands clasped and being the sappy idiots they are.

This was probably one of the best dates Bucky has ever been on. Then again anything he does with Steve is considered the best. As they were walking, with Bucky leaning into Steve and Steve's arm draped over his shoulder, a couple of kids run by them with squirt guns and water balloons. Bucky smirks at the sight, but all of a sudden something splatters above his head and he feels water droplets spray his face.

He turns his head up to see a soaking wet Steve. It seemed they got caught in the cross-fire and Steve had been the unlucky victim of a deadly water balloon. Steve's eyes are closed as he lets the water drip all over his face. Bucky can't help smiling and uses his shirt sleeve to wipe up his boyfriend.

"Awww babe," he laughs. He reaches up to kiss him on the cheek. But Steve isn't smiling at all. When he opens his eyes he looks terrified, like he's about to sink into the ground and never come out. Bucky notices the tightness around his jaw, and his hands are quivering controllably. Bucky looks at him for a second until realization dawns on him and he pulls Steve away from the crowd.

Steve lets Bucky drag him along until they're at the edge of the fairgrounds near the parking lot. This way there's no people, and if something does happen they won't freak out the kids or anything.

"Steve. Hey, babe, look at me." Bucky takes Steve's face in his hands and forces his eyes to meet his. Steve looks like he's about to faint any minute. He's gone completely white and he's swaying from side to side.

"Stevie, come on. Come back to me, please," Bucky pleads. He can't take this. He can't take the hurt and confused look on his boyfriend's face right now. Usually Steve is the one comforting Bucky and dragging him out of an anxiety attack. Not the other way around. Bucky has never had to do this for Steve, so he can't help feeling a little panicked himself. But he manages to keep his composure and focus on bringing Steve back to reality.

Eventually Steve does come back and the color is starting to settle in his cheeks now.

"B-Bucky?"

"Yeah Stevie, it's me. You're okay." He tries to smile and act like the last couple minutes didn't happen. Steve even tries to do the same before his face immediately contorts into one of anguish.

Bucky brings him down by the neck and holds him tightly. Steve leans his full weight into Bucky and chokes out a sob against his neck.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he whimpers.

"Sssshh Stevie, there's nothin to be sorry 'bout."

Bucky sways them back and forth. A couple people pass by and look at them strangely, but hey, it's better than breaking down on the fairgrounds with little kids running all over the place.

Steve brings head up and meets Bucky's eyes with his own red-rimmed puffy ones. Bucky stands up on his tiptoes to kiss both of Steve's eyelids.

"I used to be afraid of heights," Bucky reveals. This grabs Steve's attention. "I mean, I still am but it's a lot better now. I-I… I fell off a building when the IED blew up and took my arm. According to Sam I almost lost my right arm too, but I guess I was spared that day." He bites his lip and tries to push on. This is the most he's ever revealed to anyone about his acrophobia. "I avoided it for so long, then one night I hyperventilated after playing a freakin _video game_. Sam was the first one to find out. He… he was the one who pushed me to seek help. I didn't do it, but then—then things got serious with you. I wanted to get better, I wanted to _be_ better. So I did some therapy and I can pretty much handle heights now. Just… no roller-coasters or anything."

He gives a half smile. Sam is still disappointed at that one.

"I'm afraid of water," Steve rasps out. "I was on a mission. Middle of December, and I fell into a freezing iced-cold lake. I was trying to rescue some kids, but then the lake cracked and I—" He sucks in a sharp breath. "I hate the water, especially iced cold water. That's why when I take showers I turn the heat up all the way. It makes me feel… cold. Like I'm drowning all over again."

Bucky nods sympathetically. The war makes people do crazy things. He remembers almost choking Sam to death one morning, or the time he almost stabbed Natasha when he heard the doorbell ring. Steve gets it too, but the thing is he's never shown this side to Bucky. Bucky's more fucked up than he'd care to admit, but to see Steve like this? It almost comforts him to know he and Steve are in the same boat.

Bucky brings their foreheads together, breathing in sync with Steve.

"I didn't know you were afraid of heights," Steve says in a small voice.

Bucky shrugs nonchalantly. "I didn't know you were afraid of water."

"Guess we have a lot to talk about."

"I guess we do."

They both smile at each other.

"What are you two doing over there?" They look up to see Natasha and Clint walking hand-in-hand towards them.

Bucky curls an arm around Steve's waist and smiles a shit-eating grin. "We're about to have hot-raging sex and screw up your car. Thanks for interrupting by the way."

Natasha pauses and makes a face, then promptly turns around. Clint follows suit but turns his head and mouths, 'Don't you dare you ruin the seats.'

He throws back his head and laughs. That's one way to get rid of a crowd. He looks up and sees Steve staring at him thoughtfully. Then he bends down to nuzzle his face against Bucky's neck.

Bucky chuckles and runs his hands through the mess of blonde plastered all over him. They're going to be okay, they will. It'll just take some work and a lot of talking.


	12. A Little Boost

Summary: Accepting compliments really isn't Bucky's strong suit.

* * *

"Mhmmph!" Bucky moans out. His face flames up and he covers his mouth quickly. Steve laughs and kisses the hand covering it.

"You're adorable."

"S-shut up," he mutters, the embarrassment clear as day on his face. He hasn't made a sound like that in a long time, which just goes to show how out of practice he is. One thing had led to another and well, it ended up with Bucky pinned against the wall and Steve's hand down his pants. And right now, Bucky is mewling and writhing and Steve is obviously torturing him right now. He really feels like he's going to burst out of his pants if this keeps up.

"You're cute," Steve continues as he kisses up and down Bucky's face. His hand moves around in Bucky's underwear and squeezes. Bucky makes another moan and decides to focus all his attention on the floor to keep from coming in his pants like a fucking teenage boy.

Steve gives another squeeze, this time taking the full length of Bucky's cock and balls. His knees buckle a little. His face is flushed and he's panting heavily now.

Steve bites his ear and he makes a strangled noise from the back of his throat.

"_Cute_."

Bucky's breath hitches and at this point he has no choice but to look at Steve's face. Which turns out to be a big mistake because Steve's face is also pretty flushed and dammit he looks hot. In fact, he looks immaculate. There's not even a hair out of place. On the other hand, Bucky looks like a fucking mess and he is most likely disgusting and drenched with sweat. This is so not fair.

"Ergh.. 'm not.. c-cute, ya punk," he pants out.

"Of course you are, jerk."

It takes less than five minutes and Bucky already finds himself slumped against the wall with Steve supporting most of his weight. His pants feel icky and gross, but he could really care less right now. He's so far gone and his mind feels like it's floating in another universe or something.

"Yeah. Really, really cute," Steve murmurs.

Bucky scowls and puffs out his cheeks. "Go get your damn eyes checked out."

Steve, unfortunately, doesn't find much bite in this and just laughs as he kisses the length of Bucky's neck. Goddammit if this was anyone else Bucky would be fuming, but instead he finds himself growing hot red in embarrassment.

He tenses up as Steve bites down on a particular sensitive part on his neck. Seriously, he's not sure how he has this much toleration for someone.

"How far are y-you.. going.. w-with this?" Bucky somehow manages to strain out.

He can actually feel the little punk smirking against his neck. "I don't know. How far would you like me to go?" Steve lifts his head up and bites his lip and wow that is like the most sexy thing Steve has done today.

"I don't know. 'M not really sure you can handle all of this." Bucky gestures to himself and smirks right back.

Steve looks at him for a minute before he bends down.

"What are you doing?"

Suddenly Bucky is lifted up in the air and Steve is carrying him towards the bedroom bridal style. Steve (again, that _little punk_) ignores all of Bucky's protests and swings the door shut with his foot.

* * *

Bucky has never considered himself as 'cute.' He's nowhere near it. It's not like kittens and puppies come flocking to his side. He's kind of more on the gruff end of the spectrum, and people usually run away upon first glance. The only person who seems to think otherwise is Steve.

He's not sure how it started, but it's stuck ever since and Steve won't stop calling him cute. And even if he doesn't say anything, Bucky can automatically tell from the look on Steve's face.

He actually finds Bucky cute. It's really troubling him and he just doesn't know why. After yesterday Bucky went home without saying much to Steve, brushing him off with hurried responses and trying to high-tail it out of there. And yes he realized it was a very asshole-like move, but Steve didn't seem to think much of it (goes to show what a saint he is).

"I think you're reading too into this," Natasha says across the phone.

"No, Nat it's really weird. He thinks I'm actually cute. I'm not cute. I'm like the complete opposite of cute. I—"

"Look like a homeless person on a daily basis, my hair is a bird's nest which really needs a trimming soon, and what kinda person would want to date someone with one arm?"

Bucky blinks and opens and clothes his mouth.

"Was that pretty spot on?" She asks after a while.

He scowls even though she can't see it. "Fuck you."

"And I love you too. But James, you need to stop putting yourself down."

"I don't—"

"Yes, yes you do. Obviously Steve the Good Samaritan likes you for who you are and finds you very endearing. So put a sock on it and take the damn compliment like a normal human being."

He's about to protest when she cuts him off again. "And I know you're going to say you're not normal compared to most people and blah blah so you can put a sock in that one too."

Again Bucky doesn't know how to respond to that. He would never admit this (it would only fuel up her ego and dammit she's actually _right_), but there is some truth to her words. He really is thankful for Natasha, honestly. If it wasn't for her, this thing he has going on with Steve would only be a half-hearted effort on his part. He's trying, god he's trying so hard.

Accepting compliments like 'you're cute' though? Still not something he's quite used to yet.

"Do you think I'm cute?" He teases.

"I think you're a free-loading asshole sometimes, but sure. If that's what you want me to think."

"Fuck you," but this time Bucky is laughing.

"Right back at you," Natasha says, her voice a little lighter.

They hang up on that.

The next time Steve comes over its raining. It's not that heavy, so they decide to hang their feet over the stairwell outside Bucky's apartment and enjoy it while it lasts.

"So you think I'm cute?" Bucky asks, his arms crossed over the railing with his chin perched on top.

Steve doesn't shift his gaze from the rain, but he twitches slightly and his mouth quirks up a bit. "I always think you're cute."

This time he does shift his gaze and stares at Bucky intently.

Bucky snorts and knocks his shoulder against Steve's.

"I'm serious!"

"Never doubted you for a second buddy."

He almost doesn't hear the question when Steve asks "Do you not like it when I call you that?" in a very small voice.

He turns his head sharply to see Steve's face bunched up in worry. There are frown lines on his forehead and Bucky is very tempted to smooth out the creases. Even if he doesn't say it out loud, somehow Steve seems to _know_ everything that's on Bucky's mind.

"…It's not bad, if that's what you're wondering," Bucky says slowly.

"But you don't like it?"

"I never said that."

"Your face says otherwise."

"My face is beautiful," Bucky says with a dramatic flourish of his hand.

Steve lets out an exasperated sigh and shoves playfully at him. "Don't change the topic."

"I'm not, I'm not," he quickly reassures. Steve still doesn't look convinced.

Bucky scoots closer and tentatively places his head on Steve's shoulder. "Seriously, 'm fine. Call me cute all you want, because you're the only person I'm gonnna allow that from."

"So I'm the exception?" A slow smile blooms across Steve's face.

"You're always the exception," Bucky says.

Steve purses his lips to hide the obvious joy on his face and slings an arm around Bucky.

"You're cute."

Bucky splutters and turns very very red. And Bucky is.. actually okay with that. He's not panicking over what to do next or calling Natasha in a frantic fit or trying to find another compliment to counter Steve's. He's okay. It's nice, even if he still finds it hard to believe.


	13. Paint It Black

Author's note: A little Halloween special :P

Summary: Bucky doesn't like people, so why does he put up with Nat's ideas?

* * *

Bucky is… feeling one of those sad moods right now. He's not sure why, but they come and go and he thinks it's a side effect of the PTSD or something. It's all those conflicting emotions and the killings and just everything. He doesn't even have the effort to put on his prosthetic today.

Sad music has been on repeat from morning till now and he's settling into it. He's feeling comfortable just moping here in his bed, like the world is going to collapse in on him and there's nothing for him out there. He feels no sense of purpose and it's great.

He jumps at the sudden buzzing sound on his side table and ignores it. Except it keeps buzzing… and buzzing. He groans to his ceiling. Why can't people just leave him alone?

He has to roll over onto his left side because the table's on his left and he doesn't have his prosthetic on. He grabs the phone and presses the speaker button.

"This is James," he sighs.

"So he's alive."

He sighs again, this time louder. "What do you want Nat?"

"Why hello to you too James." He can hear the smile in her voice.

"And I repeat: what do you want?"

"Well! It's Halloween." Oh, right. It is. And he totally forgot too. It used to be one of his favorite holidays, and Becca would just go crazy. The thought of how happy his sister would get makes him feel a little sick to his stomach.

"James?"

"Yeah," he coughs and clears his throat. "Sorry, come again?"

"Party. Halloween. Me and Clint. People."

When he doesn't respond Natasha makes an impatient-sounding noise.

"Clint and I are going to a Halloween party tonight. Held on our apartment's rooftop. There will be people from our building there. You in? It's open to the public."

Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose and glares at the ceiling. "Nat."

"It's just an invite, nothing harmless."

But he knows what she's doing: she's trying to guilt him into going. Maybe not necessarily guilt, but it's Nat and Bucky can hardly refuse her half the time. Plus, she must have known he was moping around otherwise she wouldn't have called. It's a CIA thing, he swears.

"…I don't have anything to wear though," he replies reluctantly.

"That's okay. I'm sure we'll find something," Nat responds easily with a hint of triumph.

"You sure about that?" Bucky asks, hoping she might decide to back out at the last minute. Natasha knows Bucky can be a pretty difficult person, even pretends to be one so he doesn't have to deal with the bullshit that is life. This usually doesn't stop her though, only makes her more committed.

"James, just come. You know you've already decided," she says.

Yeah, he has, and he still hates her for it.

* * *

"Naaaaaaaat," Bucky whines.

She gives him a look of utter death and Bucky actually makes himself physically smaller. This must be what Clint feels like whenever he gets in trouble or does something stupid.

"Do you want my help or not?" She places her hands on her hips and raises a stern eyebrow.

"I do, I do," he says in surrender.

Natasha huffs and turns back to face his closet. "Your wardrobe consists of black, black, and oh, black. With a touch of grey of course. How do you even survive?"

Bucky grunts in response. Shopping isn't his forte. Plus, it's so much easier to just wear all black. He doesn't even have to pair anything up.

"Okay seriously, you've got nothing. I think you should just show up as a Goth person," Natasha decides.

"Are you kidding me?" Bucky gives her a 'get real' look. "There's gonna be, I don't know oh, PEOPLE there. I don't exactly want your neighbors to think I'm a weirdo."

"Well then that's just something you're going to have to live with because your closet is absolute shit and you have no sense of style," she retorts.

"I'm not going as a Goth!"

"Why? It fits your personality perfectly."

"Why did I even agree to this?" He mutters under his breath. Nat responds by throwing a shirt in his face.

"Wear that. It compliments your eyes," she says in a dry voice.

This time it's his turn to glare the look of death at her. "Read my lips: I am not going as a Goth person."

He went as a Goth person.

Like full on too. He's got the black clothes, some black hair spray, even black eye liner smudged around his eyes. It stings and his skin is getting irritated and he really hates Nat. He should have just said he was busy, or maybe if he said he was masturbating she would hang up without a second thought. Then again it's Nat, and hardly anything phases her.

Not to mention he hates parties. Too many.. people. And it gets crowded and sweaty and—people. Overall just people and he hates it and crowds in general.

"This sucks," Bucky mumbles as he glances around him. There are like, what forty people here at least? There are corny Halloween lights and streamers hanging from the rafters, and he's seen at least ten ghosts and witches so far. He's keeping count. It's a game to keep him from losing his sanity.

He really feels like he's going to lose his shit soon.

Nat and Clint are lost somewhere in the people dancing to the Monster Mash. Bucky settled for standing by the snack tables against the wall. This way he has a whole view, and no one can sneak up on him in some ghoulish looking mask. And as long as he stays away from the building's edges, he'll be fine. He's panicking a little, but he'll be fine nevertheless.

"A drink for m'lady?"

Bucky narrows his eyes and is about to say something along the lines of "get away from you creepo" when he almost faceplants into the punch bowl. It's Steve. He's here. In… well what is that?

"What the hell are you wearing?" Bucky asks once he's regained his balance.

Steve puts on a look of mock sadness. "Hey I put a lot of time and effort into this one."

Bucky rolls his eyes. "Oh I'm sure of it."

Steve is wearing some sort of navy-blue body suit with what looks like an eagle on the front. He's not sure where it's from, but Bucky thinks it might be from that show Agents of something. Actually, Steve pulls off the body suit pretty well. It really… shows off all of his muscles properly. Really compliments his body. Bucky decides it's a very nice costume and retracts his last statement.

"I mean it suits you. Very much. And no pun intended." He puts on his best flirty smile, or tries to as it turns out more like he's about to kidnap your children.

Steve beams at the compliment. "Thank you. I like your outfit too." He scans up and down and suddenly Bucky feels very self-conscious. He should have just gone as a pirate.

"Steve!" Natasha walks up to him and embraces him in a friendly hug. "So glad you could make it. And I see James has already found you." She looks over and Bucky gives her a look of betrayal. She blatantly ignores him and continues chatting animatedly with Steve.

"Dude, is that from Agents of Shield?" Clint points to Steve's costume.

Steve's face brightens up and he nods excitedly. "Yeah! I had to go out and actually find a suit, and then I painted the logo on myself."

Clint is clearly impressed and nods his head. "Sweet man. You totally have to make me one now."

Bucky's pretty impressed himself. The fact that Steve put so much time and effort into his costume speaks volumes. Says a lot about his hard-working personality.

He doesn't realize he's staring until Natasha says, "Clint and I should get back now. Our friend Bruce and Maria are waiting for us." She turns to Steve and gives a small wave. "Bye Steve, enjoy yourself!"

They disappear back into the crowd. Bucky keeps glancing over at Steve and exchanging awkward smiles. He has no idea what to say.

"I heard from Natasha you put up quite a fight about the Goth thing," Steve remarks as he gestures to Bucky's outfit.

Bucky groans and makes a face. "Please, we don't talk about that. I don't own anything but black, okay?"

Steve chuckles a little and brings his hand out. Bucky freezes as Steve's fingers rub against his upper cheek and when he pulls his hand back there are traces of black on it.

"You got some—" He motions to Bucky's eyes "—eyeliner." He grins sheepishly.

"Oh," Bucky breathes out. "Thanks."

They exchange another awkward smile and look away. Bucky suddenly feels like he's in high school all over again trying to talk to this one girl who will barely pay him any mind. It's quite mortifying actually.

The mood of the party changes and people aren't moving as energetically anymore. They're moving in slow circles and Bucky realizes: slow-dancing.

"Wanna go?" Steve asks.

Bucky looks over and blinks. "What?"

"Dancing?" Steve quirks up his mouth half-way and Bucky swears he sees a blush in there. "Only if you want to at least."

"I can't dance for shit," Bucky states in a hurried tone. He stuffs his hands into his jeans pockets and looks down. More like doesn't want to dance. It's the human contact thing and being too close to another person and—basically it's Claustrophobia but don't try to tell him otherwise.

"That's okay," Steve responds quietly. "I can't either, so we can both step on each other's feet." He tilts his head and holds out his hand.

Bucky stares at it. Should he take it? He honestly can't dance, but it _is_ Steve. And Steve can't dance either. How bad could it be, right? He decides to place his left hand in Steve's much larger one. They walk out to the middle of the floor and Steve places a hand on the small of Bucky's waist. He jumps at the contact and Steve raises his eyebrow but doesn't say anything. Bucky scowls and places one hand on Steve's shoulder.

They move together in unison, stepping from side to side and moving in half-circles around the floor. They run into Nat and Clint a couple times, and Bucky thinks he sees Bruce and Maria too. The song ends, but the DJ plays another slow song much to Bucky's relief. He has to admit, it's pretty nice. He almost doesn't notice the other people around them. It's just him and Steve, as corny as that sounds.

So Bucky decides to take a chance. He shifts closer until their chests are touching and he leans his head on Steve's shoulder. He feels Steve's breath hitch, but he only repositions them so they're in more comfortable positions. Steve places his hand on Bucky's lower back in order to bring him even closer and tightens his hold around Bucky's waist.

"This is nice," Bucky mumbles against him.

Steve hums in agreement and rests his chin on top of his head. He can feel Steve's thumb rub against his own.

Bucky knows Nat is smirking from a mile away, but he'll thank her later. Just not now.


	14. A Very Harry Potter World (Or Night)

Summary: Steve introduces Bucky to the Harry Potter movies. It goes as well as one would think.

* * *

"No."

"But whhhhhy?"

"Absolutely not."

"Come on, please?" Steve brings his hands in the praying position and puts on his signature puppy dog look. He's got the eyes and the pouting down to a T, and Bucky knows he'll be giving in soon enough. His longest record was actually a minute which is saying a lot.

"We are not watching _all 7 Harry Potter movies_, now Steven Grant Rogers stop giving me that look," Bucky says in a firm voice.

"But it's HARRY POTTER Buck." If possible, Steve's eyes grow bigger and more watery.

"It could be freakin Hunger Games for all I care and oh guess what? I still wouldn't care." Bucky almost regrets saying that because he sounds like the complete opposite of what a perfect boyfriend should be. But at this point he kind of just accepts the fact that he'll always be an asshole of a boyfriend and Steve will still love him till the ends of the earth and Bucky will still be forever baffled by that. He's not sure how he hasn't managed to piss off the whole three people in his life.

"But Buuuuck, you love movies," Steve almost whines.

And yeah Steve's right: he does. Normally Bucky would jump at the idea of curling up on the couch with his boyfriend watching movies and eating popcorn and drinking over-priced coffee.

Normally though.

Don't get him wrong. He still loves movies and TV, but he's a changed man now. He has a life, and this new and improved life includes decreasing his couch potato time. Instead he resolves to go out at least once a day (now increased to 2-3 times), make conversation with people, and just be social in general.

And besides, there are _seven _movies total. They're based on that book series by someone named Rowling?

"Come on, Bucky please please please please please please—"

"Just because you say please a bajillion times over doesn't change anything," Bucky says.

"—Please please please please please please please please please please pleeeeeease…."

Bucky lets this go on for approximately another minute (because he likes to see Steve struggle and don't look at him like that it's kinda cute) before he makes a huge show of sighing and rolls his eyes.

"FINE."

Bucky pretends not to smile at the look of childish excitement spreading over Steve's features.

"Really?!" Steve asks excitedly.

"Yes, yes, we'll watch them," Bucky huffs in defeat. "But if my legs go numb by the time this is all over no sex for a whole month."

Steve's face turns serious and he nods his head in a grave manner. Bucky will probably regret this later but whatever. His new and improved life also involves being more open-minded, and if that involves blazing through seven movies about a wizard then so be it.

* * *

So they start with the first one (obviously because it's called a series for a reason), and Bucky already wants to laugh at the terrible movie effects because what the actual fuck.

"These are horrible," Bucky is almost crying at this point. He has to wipe away the tears from his eyes.

Steve swats him on the arm and sniffs. "They're beautiful."

"By the way, what's going on with Hermione's hair?" Bucky gestures to his own head, which he can't really say is much better because it isn't.

"It gets progressively better, let's just say that."

* * *

"Oh my god, is that Voldemort? Is that really supposed to be Lord Voldemort and the best he can do is to stick himself on the back of some guy's head?"

"_Bucky_."

* * *

"Why is it called the 'Chamber of Secrets'?" Bucky asks as he plops down beside Steve. After his last commentary Steve wouldn't let him go to the bathroom until the credits started rolling.

"Because it takes place in a chamber," Steve simply answers.

Bucky gives him a look.

"Of _secrets_," he adds in mock amazement.

"Wow, never would have guessed that one Stevie." Bucky rolls his eyes and watches the screen title zoom in. The effects still suck, but if he wants to be able to go to the bathroom he'll have to reduce the commentary.

* * *

"_What the hell?!"_

"Bet you never saw that coming huh?" Steve smirks and stuffs some popcorn into his mouth.

"Tom Riddle… Lord Voldemort… how did I not see this coming?!" Bucky is trying to run through all the scenes in his head again because really, how did he miss that?

Steve chuckles and ruffles his hair. "Ready for the third one?" He stands up half-way but Bucky tugs him back down. He loses his balance a little and flails his arms as he grabs the back of the couch. "Bucky—"

"Wait, just, _wait_." Bucky holds up a hand and closes his eyes. He needs to figure this out if this is the last thing he remembers because he could die tomorrow from like, movie overload, and he would have let this conundrum fly right over his head.

Luckily Steve is very forgiving and waits patiently while Bucky thinks it over.

* * *

"I like this Sirius Black dude. But the name man. So many puns." Bucky shakes his head sadly. He really pities the guy. How many times did his friends make fun of him during his own time at Hogwarts?

"Don't worry, the internet has that taken care of." Steve pulls out his phone and shows Bucky the hundreds of Sirius Black memes that have evolved since. Bucky is absolutely ashamed of the internet community.

They can do better than this.

* * *

"I ship Cho Chang and Harry," Bucky says as they're watching the Yule Ball scene.

"Nooo Cho belongs with Cedric. Look at them they're adorable." Steve points to the two of them dancing. "Plus Harry gets with Ginny later."

"Ron's sister?" Bucky asks incredulously.

Steve nods as he watches the scene. He's watching very closely and Bucky can't help staring at Steve instead of paying attention to the movie.

"You want to dance don't you?" Bucky teases.

As he expected Steve's face flames up. "What? No, I don't—no."

Bucky sighs and stands up. He holds out his hand and a memory of a past Halloween party enters his mind. "Come on ya punk, let's get this over with before the scene ends."

Steve's eyes keep darting between Bucky's face and his hand. Eventually he does stand up and his hands fumble awkwardly as he tries to place them in the right positions.

They had to re-wind a little of course but it was so worth it.

* * *

"I don't like Umbridge," Bucky states the minute she shows up. "I'm getting this bad vibe from her."

"No one likes her," Steve leans in and whispers without tearing his eyes away.

* * *

So yeah, it's official: Umbridge is a total bitch and Bucky totally whooped in triumph as she got taken away by the centaurs.

He also has a newfound respect for the Weasley twins.

* * *

"You have got to be kidding me," Bucky whispers. Sirius Black. Just died. He friggin _died_ and got sucked into that mirror thingy and no Bucky did not tear up as Lupin held Harry back.

"I am going to kill Bellatrix," Steve says in a watery voice. Unlike Bucky, Steve has no problem letting the tears flow out.

They have to pause the movie for a good twenty minutes while they hug it out on the couch and tell each other 'I love you' over and over again.

Bucky realizes it's moments like these that you really have to appreciate in your life. He makes sure to call his family later and Steve hides in the bathroom to call Peggy.

* * *

"He looks like he's eating her face off," Bucky says through a mouthful of popcorn. They've already gone through like five bags.

It's the scene where Ginny and Harry share their first kiss and they're trying to hide the Half-Blood Prince's book.

Of course Steve goes teary-eyed at this. "But they're so adorable together, look at them."

"She just left him in the room by himself," Bucky says in a judgmental tone. "That was like, a one night stand. Minus the one night stand part."

"So like a five minute kiss stand?"

"Exactly."

* * *

"SNAPE YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Bucky jumps up and points an accusing finger at the screen. "DUMBLEDORE TRUSTED YOU YOU FUCKHEAD HOW COULD YOU?!"

Steve looks at Bucky amusingly as he shouts more obscenities. Little does Bucky know that Snape turns out to be a pretty awesome guy.

* * *

Bucky wants to kill himself as he stares at Steve. "There are two parts?"

"I mean it's a pretty long book so yeah, they kinda had to make two parts," Steve tries to justify.

"There are two parts?" He repeats.

"Look, we're almost done—"

"Steve. They're two hours each." As if the last 6 weren't long enough.

"It gets progressively better," Steve repeats from when Bucky made that comment about Hermoine's hair. And yes, it did get much better.

Bucky heaves a dramatic sigh and gestures to the DVD player. "Alright then, put it in."

Steve smiles in triumph and gets up.

* * *

Bucky decides he doesn't like Bellatrix from the way she tortures Hermoine off screen. He kinda liked the craziness until she killed off Sirius and mocked Harry about it.

"Karma does get her eventually," Steve responds calmly.

It does, and Bucky may have done a little dance rendition around the room while Steve recorded the whole thing.

* * *

"NO DOBY DON'T DIE ON ME," Bucky yells like a madman.

Doby does die in the end and Bucky is very ready to make a complaint to Warner Brothers.

Steve shakes his and smiles. He pats Bucky on the head and stands up. "I'm going to make more popcorn. Don't do anything stupid for the five minutes that I'm gone."

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."

Steve barks out a laugh as he walks to the kitchen.

* * *

"So basically Harry was just Dumbledore's sex slave correct?" Bucky notes from the way Aberforth scoffs at his deceased brother.

"Oh my god _Bucky_."

"Whaaaaaat? It pretty much sounds like Dumbledore used Harry."

"He had his reasons," Steve says in a small voice. He can't deny that Bucky has a point.

* * *

"YOU GO MCGONAGALL YOU TAKE DOWN SNAPE!" Bucky cheers as McGonagall casts spell after spell until Snape escapes with the flourish of his cloak.

"So cool," Steve says in awe.

"I wanna be her when I grow up."

"Totally," Steve agrees.

* * *

"So Snape."

"Yes."

"Was actually good."

"Yes."

"And he's loved Lily Potter since like age 10."

"Yep."

"Oh my god what the fuck James Potter you suck."

Steve has to bite his lip to hold in his laughter. Bucky now feels the pain of the Snape fandom.

"I can't believe this. I think this was worse than when Sirius died."

"Told ya Snape was awesome."

"Wow just.. wow. Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable." Bucky shakes his head at the floor in disappointment.

Steve will probably have to introduce Bucky to fanfiction later.

* * *

Bucky feels like putty. It's 3 am which is pretty damn late considering they didn't start their marathon early enough.

Steve is sprawled over his half of the couch with his head in Bucky's lap. "So, what'd you think?"

Bucky groans and throws an arm over his face. "Why did I let you talk me into seeing all seven movies?"

"Because I'm awesome and they're awesome too, admit it." Steve nuzzles his cheek against Bucky's thigh and sighs in contentment.

Bucky chuckles and runs his fingers through Steve's hair. "Yeah, they were awesome. You, eh, maybe so-so. You're still a ginormous punk."

"And you're a jerk," Steve throws right back. They smile at each other, but they're half-loopy half-delirious from the sleepiness.

Yes it is 3 a.m. and Bucky will be dead tired tomorrow, but these movies were definitely life-changing. Next Halloween, Bucky is so going as a wizard.

Suddenly he jolts up which jostles Steve's head in his lap. "I can show these to Peter."

Steve makes a noise below and rubs the side of his face from where he was knocked. Bucky laughs at his new discovery and leans down to kiss Steve. "Yeah okay I've changed my mind. You're pretty awesome."

Steve hums and laughs at the same time. "So what should we do for next movie marathon?"

Bucky makes a face. "Slow down there soldier, one thing at a time okay?"

* * *

They next time they decide to watch all three Hunger Games.

Bucky thinks he should take up archery with Clint.


	15. It's Okay to Not Be Okay

Summary: Bucky and Steve are somehow coerced into doing the yard-work and Bucky has a slight panic attack.

* * *

Bucky sighs as he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand. He grimaces once he realizes he used his left hand because sweat plus metal doesn't mix well together. He tries to wipe off his left hand on his sweatshirt when something comes barreling past him.

The pile of leaves scatter everywhere, a mix of red, orange and brown floating around him. He's taken in by the sight that he almost misses a certain little boy giggling gleefully in the mess he's made.

"Uncle Bucky look!" Peter throws his hands up in the air, causing more leaves to scatter.

Bucky makes a disgruntled noise and he really can't get mad. Because it's Peter and only Peter could do stuff like this and get away with it.

"There goes all our hard work." Steve strides up with a rake in hand and laughs at the mess. He's got some leaves in his hair, so Bucky walks up and tousles his hair until they're all gone.

He's still got his hands tangled in Steve's hair and he locks his eyes on his boyfriend's face. Steve squirms and looks away self-consciously. He clears his throat and harrumphs a couple times but Bucky is still staring no matter what. Steve looks very pretty in the afternoon light and the fall-like atmosphere.

"Hey boys! More work less eye-sex," Rebecca calls out from her own pile of leaves.

Bucky splutters and glares at his sister who sticks out her tongue. Peter falls over laughing at the sight of his uncle and mommy making faces at each other and Steve just thinks the whole thing is adorable.

Bucky and Steve had decided to drive up and visit the Barnes family. Only once they got there Bucky immediately turned around and started to head back to his car when his mother decided to seize such a golden opportunity. Next thing they knew, they had rakes in their hands and were tasked with cleaning up the yard.

Both front _and_ back.

It also turned out that Rebecca got roped into it too, and she and Bucky had already started arguing over who had the front yard, who was doing more work, etc. etc. So Steve took matters into his own hands and with the use of his military training divided the yard up into equal sections. Each person had a few sections, and this way it was fair and there would be no starting World War III.

It kind of went all to waste though once Peter started running around and jumping into every pile he saw. Rebecca had already threatened him with life-sentenced-time-outs but nothing seemed to work. Peter was now five, meaning he was starting to learn the art of bargaining and Rebecca's lost more battles than she can count.

Steve chuckles and kisses the side of Bucky's face. "Back to work," he mumbles and starts working on the Peter-induced-mess.

Bucky sighs in defeat because his sister is an asshole (a very lovable asshole) and Steve just looked really good captured amidst the falling leaves. Bucky also admits that he can't help staring every time Steve bends down, or his clearly defined muscles flex when he stretches, or when the little beads of sweat drip down the side of his face and Bucky wants to lick them up and tangle his hands in his hair and basically Bucky just wants to fuck his boyfriend very badly.

Steve turns and smirks when he catches Bucky staring. Bucky can feel his ears heating up and focuses all his of efforts on raking because raking seems to calm down all sexual urges.

Rebecca sidles up next to him and waggles her eyebrows up and down. She leans in and murmurs, "I see London, I see France, I see the glorious captain's sexy underpants."

Bucky chokes and shoves at his sister, who loses her balance and falls right on top of one of the piles she just raked up.

"JAMES I SWEAR TO MOTHER-EFFING GOD!" She squawks and launches into full attack mode. Bucky makes a break for it and picks up one of the nearby trash can lids in the hopes that it'll come in handy.

Steve watches them run around the yard and shakes his head. He doesn't have the heart to yell and plus—

"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES AND REBECCA PAMELA BARNES YOU GET BACK TO WORK RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

—Plus this is what Mrs. Barnes is here for.

The two siblings shrink in on themselves ("You've only seen my ma get upset. But you've never seen her get _angry_.") and shuffle back to work.

Mrs. Barnes huffs and slips back inside.

Steve's not sure how many more hours he can last outside and shivers as a breeze whooshes right past him.

* * *

Bucky leans against the handle of his rake and observes his hard-earned work. He and Rebecca managed not to fight for the next two hours and wah-lah! The yard looked absolutely spotless.

It was amazing what you could get done without all the extraneous bickering and bitching back and forth.

He felt something rest on his shoulder and turned his head to meet Steve's eyes. He looked as tired as Bucky felt, but still quite satisfied. He slipped both his hands around Bucky's waist and reeled him in a little so that he was resting some of his weight against him.

"Enjoying yourself there?" Bucky asked in amusement.

Steve hummed and ghosted his lips over Bucky's neck. Bucky shivered and tried to steady his breathing. Getting heated in front of his parents who were probably watching from inside was not exactly on his list of good ideas.

"You know the rents are watching right?"

"Mhmm."

"And maybe my sister too?"

"Yep."

"And Peter?"

Steve lifted his head up and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you're right. Screw it," Bucky decided. He threw his rake to the side and reached up to grab Steve's face in his hands.

Their lips were only scant inches from touching when something with the familiarity of gunshots resounded through the air.

On instinct Bucky ducked and pulled Steve down with him.

"Wait, Bucky—!"

"_Steve shut the hell up and don't argue with me we're under attack just get down!" _ Bucky screamed as he plastered himself on top of Steve. He made a quick survey of his surroundings but there didn't seem to any enemies in sight. His hand twitched but then remembered he didn't have a gun or any other weapons on him.

Dammit. How was he supposed to protect his family?!

He needed to protect them. His parents, Rebecca, and Peter oh god Peter. And Steve. Right now Steve was the one in danger and Bucky had to make sure he was okay. He had to be his shield and armor because Steve was important to him and there was no way Bucky could let him get hurt and—

More gunshots blared and Bucky clutched Steve with all his might. When he felt the coast was clear he kneeled up and looked around to assess the damage. It was possible there were snipers from the rooftops, or they were in camouflage and probably hiding in the bushes. Yeah, that seemed like the most likely bet.

His mind was still in combat mode until Steve grabbed his face and forced him to meet his gaze.

"Bucky, listen to me. There are no enemies, okay? We're not in Afghanistan anymore. We're at your parents' house. It's the year 2014, it's a Saturday. We drove up together, remember? Bucky please, I'm right here okay? I'm not hurt I'm right here." The words came out hurried and rushed.

Bucky's pupils were blown wide and he jumped as another gunshot went off. He tried pulling Steve down again but he caught his arm.

"Steve please we need to take shelter I need to protect you please I—"

"_Dammit Jerry it's getting away! Shoot that goose down already would you?!" _

Bucky's breath caught in his throat as he tried to comprehend the words. Goose? Shoot it down? What? Then he saw his neighbor in the yard over with a hunting gun aimed at the sky. A goose squawked as it hit the ground with a sickening thump and crack.

"W-what? What's going on? Steve?" He fisted his hands in Steve's shirt and peered up with frantic eyes.

"Sssh shh Bucky, it's okay. It was just your neighbors, nothing more. We're okay. I'm okay." Steve squeezed his hands and nodded reassuringly.

Bucky kept twitching at the slightest sounds, and he jumped once or twice as more gunshots tore through the sky.

He took one final shaky breath as he gathered his bearings together. They were okay, everything was fine, it was just his stupid neighbors doing some hunting was all. Nothing to worry about.

They're both huddled up on the ground, with Steve patting Bucky's head and holding him close.

"Uh, Steve," he croaks out, " 'M fine now. You uh, you can let go now." He awkwardly pats Steve on the arm but he still doesn't let go. "Steve?"

"No," Steve whispers. "You're not fine, and I can see right through you. You're not lying out of his one James."

Bucky blinks at the sudden usage of his first name. Steve only ever calls him 'James' when it's something serious.

Bucky sighs against his boyfriend and slumps farther down. He's right, Steve's always right. He always manages to see straight through Bucky despite the fact that he's a pretty damn good liar. The only people who can only ever tell that he's lying are Natasha and this stupid punk here. Sam can normally pick it out too, but then again he's Sam so that doesn't really count.

"How come you weren't affected?" Bucky mumbles. "How come you didn't.."

Steve stills and the patting stops. Bucky pulls back and notices a distant look in the other man's eyes. He seems really faraway right now and Bucky starts feeling nervous again. But then Steve's vision comes into focus and he's back in the present again.

"Oh, Buck, of course I was affected."

"Then why didn't you react the way I did?"

"Because.." He bites his lip as he tries to think of an explanation. "I guess you could say I'm sort of used to it by now."

"Oh." That made sense. Steve's been out of the army longer than Bucky has, give or take a couple years. It would only make that Steve is completely 100% recovered at this point. And Bucky thought he was too until he had that stupid panic attack and it was like being in Afghanistan all over again.

"But you know what? I still react at certain things," Steve says quietly.

"Really? Like what?" Bucky takes one of Steve's hands and traces the lines along his palm.

"Like fireworks." Steve looks down at this and furrows his brow. "Fireworks are what usually do it for me. And you know about my thing with water. And sometimes alarms. I can't tell you how many times I jumped at the sound of my phone ringing or my alarm clock." He looks back up and gives a small smile. "It's okay to still be scared, Bucky. God knows I am sometimes."

Bucky makes a frustrated noise and grips his hair tightly. "I know I just… Fuck I just thought I'd be better by now. I thought I'd be _cured_." He puts some slight pressure on Steve's palm. He feels so frustrated with himself. Why can't he just be better already? How long was he supposed to endure this, his whole life?

"And you will be cured. Trust me, it does get better from here on out. I'm living proof of that aren't I?" Steve leans down and plants light feathery kisses on each of Bucky's fingers. He shivers at the pressure, but it puts his mind at ease and he's starting to think clearly again.

"Yeah, I guess," Bucky mumbles.

Steve glances up and his mouth quirks just the tiniest bit around the corners. He leans back up but he's closer than before and pecks Bucky on the nose. He decides to take Bucky's response as some sort of acceptance.

"Oh, and before I forget: you're not the only one doing all the protecting here."

"Yeah, yeah." Bucky rolls his eyes and nuzzles his head against the safety of Steve's chest, because he does feel safe here with Steve's arms wrapped securely around him.

"Please remember that it's okay to not be.. okay. Okay?"

Bucky chuckles at Steve's lack of vocab.

Maybe he's not fine now, or he might never be, but that's basically his life in a nutshell and as Sam said at one point: everyone has their own demons. It's Bucky who has to decide whether he wants to fight them or not.


	16. What Did He Say?

Summary: Bucky and Steve decide to move in together, but it's possible Bucky may have misinterpreted a few things.

* * *

Apartment-searching, Bucky has decided, has got to be the most stressful thing on the face of the universe. He doesn't know how people do it, but he certainly knows that if he suddenly stops working at Starbucks (because how can anyone pass up the free goodies?), being a realtor is the last thing he would consider.

He covers his face and groans into his hands. He can't do this. It's been three hours of non-stop browsing through websites and trying to squint at all too microscopic pictures because would it kill these people to actually make them _bigger? _He lets out another groan and reaches for his beer, only to have his hand swatted away.

"Nat."

"James."

They do one of their customary stare-downs which usually end with Bucky losing, but he blames it on Nat's CIA training. Clint walks in on this and thankfully he's so used to this by now he doesn't even question it anymore.

"What did Bucky do _this time_?" He sighs.

"Excuse me, but why does it always have to be _me_?" Bucky asks without breaking contact. He will win this time. He was a sergeant, damn the CIA.

"Because _I have class, and you don't_," Nat responds in a faux British accent.

Unfortunately this is Bucky's undoing because he ends up snorting at her stupid accent and he already knows he's lost. Natasha throws her arms up in the air and does a small victory whoop. Clint kisses her on the cheek with a, "So proud of you babe."

"I hate you. I hate you all," Bucky mutters and blinks rapidly to try to get the moisture back. He makes another attempt to grab his beer but this time Natasha kicks him very close to his groin. He doesn't want a repeat of last month.

"Okay, _ow._" Bucky glares at her and rubs the spot where he will probably find a bruise in the next three minutes.

She doesn't even acknowledge his pain. He swears he hears her mutter 'wuss'. "First: I thank The Parent Trap. And second: you're officially cut off from all alcohol."

Bucky whines and pulls a face. "You're not the one on a soul-searching hunt for new apartments."

"But I am the one helping you, and I am not letting you get drunk on your ass. Not until we've narrowed down our choices." She shuffles a couple housing brochures on the coffee table only to make room for more.

"Our choices?"

"Babe, I didn't know a threesome was in our midst," Clint gasps.

Natasha stares at him for a split second before rolling up three very thick brochures together and whacking Clint on the head.

"You're an animal, the horror," he deadpans and faces Bucky with a serious, "If she murders me in my sleep tonight promise me you'll find my body."

Bucky places his hand on Clint's knee and says with equal seriousness, "As long as you meet me by the bagel shop so we can admit our undying love for each other."

Clint waggles his eyebrows up and down. "I know which hole I'll be lick—"

They both earn three rolled up brochures to the head.

"Trust me, Bucky's bagel hole isn't that tasty." Natasha's mouth twitches slightly at the look of utter disgust on their faces.

"Okay you know just, ew. Gross. Ew. I am going to wash out my mouth with lots of soap now and never eat bagels again. Thank you babe."

Natasha kisses the top of his head as she gathers up the empty pizza boxes to throw out. "You'll live."

"After that image, probably not!" Clint calls after her.

Bucky is also just dying internally from that but is reeled back in when he goes back to staring at the long list of apartments up for sale. He rubs his eyes and groans. "Please, just put me out of my misery. Preferably Nat since you know, CIA and all."

"So now you appreciate my talents?" Natasha plops back down and scrolls through the webpage.

"What about Steve-o? Did he find anything nice?" Clint asks.

Bucky shakes his head. "Well sort of, but when we went to visit they just didn't… click, you know? Nothing really screamed 'our place.'"

"Maybe you guys are searching too hard?"

"No, I don't think it's that."

"Or maybe you guys just aren't ready yet."

There's a slight pause at Natasha's quiet comment. She glances between the two men and shrugs. "Just an observation."

"What do you mean we're not ready of course we're ready. We've been talking about this for weeks now," Bucky says.

"More like you've been putting it off." She gives him one of those 'I know you James' looks.

"But we agreed on this. We decided to do this, together," Bucky insists.

Clint decides it's now or never and makes a hasty escape to the bathroom. They barely notice his empty presence in the room.

"When I said not ready, I meant you guys are still reluctant to take the next step. And when I say you guys, I really mean you James." she clarifies.

"What?" Bucky's not trying to be stubborn, but he doesn't exactly get it either. He and Steve are great. They've been moving at a steady pace, they've already declared their love for each other, everything's great. So it's only natural to step it up a notch and move in together.

Initially Bucky would spend a couple nights at Steve's place, and Steve would do the same at Bucky's. The commute isn't that long either seeing as how they live fifteen minutes away from each other. But after that night **[flashback to chapter 7]** they decided moving in together was the next best thing. Which then began the horrid search for new homes. Steve was doing okay on his end, but he was just as stressed as Bucky was.

The plan was they would find a place that wasn't too far from their current apartments, and granted they did find some really nice ones but there was always something wrong. Kitchen was too big, bedroom closets too narrow, flooring was bad for the knees, he could go on for ages. Not to mention they also needed to find a place that would allow pets, as Thor wasn't getting any younger and Loki was as frisky as ever. But to say that Bucky wasn't ready was just.. well it was just wrong because he was, is, and why wouldn't he be?

Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose. "Look let's just—get back to work, okay?"

Natasha stares at him for longer than necessary before shrugging and turning back to her laptop screen. "Fine. Whatever you say."

"Nat—"

"BABE. TOILET PAPER. EMERGENCY."

Natasha sighs and heaves herself up. "Clint, what did I tell you about the extra toilet paper rolls?"

"Uhhh, no using them for mast—"

"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA," Bucky singsongs very loudly while covering his ears.

Natasha comes back with five brand new rolls but aims one of them at Bucky.

"GUYS. TOILET PAPER. PLEASE."

* * *

"And over here we have a lovely little balcony, perfect view and also great amount of sunlight. You could grow some nice plants. Or maybe even a small vegetable garden."

The realtor this time, Mindy, is a very perky young woman whose ponytail bobs just about every time she talks. She's really trying to sell the place because she won't stop pointing out certain things and Bucky is gonna go nuts if she mentions something about a vegetable garden one more time.

He feels Steve grab his hand and looks up to find him smiling. "Okay?"

Bucky breathes in through his nose and nods. "Yeah, okay. You okay?"

"Never better." Steve makes sure the realtor is still blabbering before sneaking a kiss on Bucky's temple.

"So here's the bedroom," Mindy continues, gesturing to the room. "It's probably the second largest room, lots of space. Also a good area for your pets to sleep."

Steve whistles at the site. It is pretty big. In fact, this was one of the more spacious apartments. The living room area was also pretty huge, and the kitchen roomy but enough elbow space to get around each other. There was also a small studio area which was perfect for Steve, and just enough space to place a treadmill and some exercise equipment for the both of them.

In conclusion, this apartment was everything they needed. Yet somehow Bucky has managed to find a flaw already. He tugs Steve's sleeve.

"Hmm, what is it Bucky?" He asks while studying the room.

"Steve, there's mold," Bucky's whispers in case of offending Mindy.

This grabs his attention and he whips his head around. "Mold? Where?"

"Well, I'm not sure it's mold. At least, I _think_ it is. I saw something greenish on the carpet. It may have been nothing but I think it's mold."

Steve blinks at him a couple times. "You think you saw… mold?"

"Yeah."

"But you're not sure it's mold?" He says slowly.

"That's why I just want to be sure. We should definitely double-check before pointing fingers though."

Steve blinks some more before straightening up and asking in a very strained voice, "Excuse me, but Mindy do you think you could give my boyfriend and I a couple minutes alone?"

"Oh, of course certainly Mr. Rogers." Mindy smiles politely and makes her way out of the room.

Once they hear the door click Steve immediately launches with a, "Bucky, seriously?! _Mold_?"

Bucky furrows his brow in confusion. "What do you mean 'seriously Bucky'? I'm telling you I think I saw mold and we need to check it out! Although we should really just reconsider this place then because no way are we living in a moldy apartment."

Steve sighs and rubs his thumb along the area between his eyebrows. "Bucky, the green you saw was most likely a stain on the carpet, which we can get rid of easily."

Bucky frowns. "Why are you getting so frustrated?"

"_Because this is like the gazillionth time you've done this!" _

Bucky is taken aback and even Steve blushes in embarrassment at his sudden outburst. They promptly look away from each other. There's an awkward cough behind the door.

"Bucky," Steve begins quietly, "You can't keep doing this."

"Doing what exactly?" Bucky asks gruffly.

"Doing… _this_. You can't keep nit-picking at every little thing you see. Of course it's not going to be perfect, and we'll probably have to spend extra to fix a few things up. But this has gotta stop Buck." Steve places a hand on his hip and combs the other through his hair. If there's one thing Bucky likes about this place at least, it's the way the sunlight lights up Steve's features and makes his hair glow. It's a nice addition, even if there is mold.

"Steve, I'm pretty I'm not the only one nit-picking. Remember one of the very first open houses we went to? The bedroom was too small—"

"I only agreed because you were dead-set against the idea of certain limited bedroom activities."

Somehow Steve doesn't blush at that. Bucky falters for a moment but this doesn't stop him. "…Okay, then that place near Nat and Clint! The flooring was an ugly piece of crap—"

"You said you hated the wood and wanted carpet."

"Well, yeah, because—"

"And then the next place we went to had carpet and you complained and said you wanted wood for the pets!"

Now Bucky really has to stop and think about this. Did he say those things? He guesses he did if Steve remembers them all, but Steve had also agreed with everything he said! He agreed about the small bedroom, the flooring, and the pets. He never said a single word.

"And Bucky, all I said was move in with me. I didn't expect you to go apartment searching just like that," Steve added softly.

Bucky's mouth drops a little. Did he totally just misinterpret Steve's words? He could have sworn he said.. he said..

"Fuck," Bucky breaths out. "I think I just royally screwed up big time." He looks at Steve with wide eyes. "I screwed up, didn't I?"

Steve rolls his eyes and lightly taps Bucky's head. "Guess you didn't take time to process things huh?"

"I.. but you… did I completely waste all our time when I could have just moved all my crap to your place?"

"Depends on what you consider as wasting time."

Bucky wants to bury himself deep underground and never come out for at least a century. He really can't believe the source of all his problems was basically himself.

"I mean I think I got the message clear as day that you weren't ready to find our own home, so I figured you moving in with me would be more comfortable for you," Steve explains.

"But then.. why didn't you say anything? If you knew?"

Steve shrugs. "I figured it was what you wanted, only to realize it wasn't. Thus me confronting you." He waves a hand between the two of them.

At this point there's not much Bucky can do so he just throws back his head and laughs in disbelief. "I'm an idiot."

"Just smidge," Steve smiles and steps in closer.

"And a waste of space."

"Too much space probably."

"And a—" Bucky stops rambling when he sees Steve is chest to chest with him, smiling a shit-eating grin. Bucky's already red enough as it is. "What… punk?"

"Nothing. You lovable, idiotic, jerk."

"Were those adjectives really necessary?" Bucky mumbles as Steve leans in closer.

"Yes," Steve whispers and presses his lips lightly against Bucky's. Bucky presses a little more and feels Steve smiling into the kiss.

They pull back and Bucky feels the need to duck his head from Steve's gaze. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You're not ready, and frankly neither am I, so for now just move in with me and we'll go from there. Okay?" Steve smiles reassuringly and kisses his forehead.

"A little demanding there, eh Rogers?" Bucky teases.

"I'm always demanding," Steve whispers into his ear. Bucky can feel the goosebumps travelling down his spine.

"We uh, you know, should let Mindy, uh, know. She.. waiting.." Bucky gasps as Steve bites his earlobe. It's a little hard to think when your boyfriend has roaming hands.

"Mhmm, I think she can wait five more minutes," Steve whispers breathlessly.

Bucky laughs and walks backwards with Steve clinging onto him. He fumbles a little but eventually manages to twist the doorknob and let Mindy in. Fortunately Steve jumps off just in time to go completely red in the face.

"You're the worst," Steve mumbles embarrassingly.

"I know," Bucky smiles and kisses his jaw. He turns to face Mindy. "Thanks for waiting Mindy, but I think Steve and I have made our decision now."


End file.
